


We got you

by Yuulina_vre



Series: Little Supersoldiers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Coma, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Kid Bucky, Kid Bucky Barnes, Kid Steve, Kid Steve Rogers, Kidnapping, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Torture, dropping, powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-08-11 10:10:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16473578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuulina_vre/pseuds/Yuulina_vre
Summary: This is the Story of how Y/N gets to know the Avengers and lives with them. Most importantly Steve Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy the Story behind Kid Steve and Kid Bucky. ^^
> 
> And please don't forget that English is not my first language.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N was cleaning but a certain someone interrupts her. Stuff happens.

This is a mess. The hall looks like a battle field. There are empty bottles all on the floor, paired with too much confetti and plastic cups of sticky rest of alcohol. Paper streamers are hanging from the lamps on the ceiling and, however someone could lose them, shoes and jackets were lying around. Y/N even thinks she sees a shirt and a dress somewhere in all the garbage. How a party can take a whole tower to turn into a dump is a riddle to her. She sighs and grabs the key to the cleaning room. This will take a while, and she doesn’t have that much time to clean everything up. Her boss told her that the hall must be clean at noon, because the owners of the tower would expect some guests. Y/N doesn’t care much. They are like normal people to her, and she does not like them very much at the moment. The owners however are well-known to everybody and well-loved from most of them. The Avengers, especially Tony Stark, threw parties like this once a month and somehow, a fact totally oblivious to her, she’s always on shift to get their mess back under control and make the fancy tower worth its status again. To Y/N it seems that he often just celebrates because he had the money to do so. It’s her 2nd year that she works here now. It doesn’t bother her that she’s still cleaning the halls and some conference rooms. Y/N doesn’t get promoted in all the time, but she loves the job down here. She gets to talk to many people and has free use of the cafeteria without needing to pay for anything. The work hours are nice, too. Sure she has to get up at four in the morning, but she was home latest at two pm. She even gets paid more than any normal cleaning person in other agencies. What was even better is that Y/N works alone most of the time. It’s not that she’s not getting along with people, but she likes it quiet and nice. So yeah, to clean up the mess the Avengers left for her was okay. Y/N takes her cleaning carriage and makes her way to the front door. She starts with picking up all the cups, bottles and glass shards and throws them into the bags in her carriage. After she fills three of the bags she collects the clothes she could see and places them into a box that she always has in the carriage, too, because this is not the first time that some guests misses their clothes in the morning after a party, and she knows better than to throw them away. As Y/N goes back to the carriage she feels her foot touch something. At first, she thinks that she hopefully didn’t stumble against a guest, who was now in a coma in front of her, but then she remembers that she had to see him earlier, so this was not an option. Her second thought is that she stumbled against a glass or something that she missed earlier. Y/N looks down. It was not glass and far away from a human being. Instead, she sees a briefcase. It’s made out off leather and looks nice and well cared for. She picks it up. It lies heavy in her hand. Y/N turns it around and opens it. A picture falls out and sails to the ground. She picks it up as well and turns it around, so she can see it better. It’s a black and white picture of a woman. She has dark shoulder-length hair. Y/N can’t other than to admit that she looks beautiful. But the clothes she wears seem to be from the military, but they were old. Maybe they were from the forties. She looks at the picture and gets a little lost in thoughts about the woman and who might have lost this. “Excuse me?” Y/N shrieks and twitches back, stumbles over her own feet and falls on her butt, the picture and briefcase falling out of her hands. “Holy shit!” She looks up and is met with the face of a blonde man. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I think so.” The man reaches out for her. She hesitates, but he smiles down at her and it looks so innocent and sincere, so she takes his hand and lets him help her up. She claps the dust from her clothes, but the confetti stuck on it like it was glued on. Then she stands up straighter again, while the man smiles kindly at her. She waits for him to speak up and tell her what he needs, but somehow it seems as if he’s in his own space “So, how can I help you?”

“Ah right.” He shakes his hand and a little bush appears on his face. He scratches the back of his head and points beside her with his other hand. “I wanted to ask if you happen to find a briefcase, but I see you did.”

“It’s yours then?” She picks it up, throws a last look at the woman on the picture before she carefully shoves it back in the briefcase and holds it out to the man in front of her. “She looks nice.” A nostalgic look appears on his face as he takes it from her hands and takes the picture out again to look at it himself. “Yeah, she does. But it’s a long time ago that I saw her.”

“I’m sorry.” Y/N looks at the sad look he shows the picture before he puts it back into the briefcase and shoves it into his jeans pockets. “My name is Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“I know. It’s hard not to if you work here. Besides, I have to clean up all the mess you all make, so I have to know who I’m going to murderer someday. I’m Y/N.” She shakes his hand and smiles at him. “Yeah, well. Tony exaggerates it from time to time. Are you doing all of this on your own? It’s kinda a lot of work.”

“Yeah, well. I work better alone”, she shrugs and pushes a strand of hair out of her face. “It’s not that much to do and some other girls are cleaning other rooms if it’s really more of a dump than anything else.” His beaming laugh lets her smile at him. She finds that she likes it when he laughs. “Capsicle, here you are.” Y/N turns around to the voice that calls through the hall. Tony Stark leaves the elevator and walks up to them. “I was wondering when you come back to collect the tin man. He’s destroying my lab down there. You better get a grip on him.” His face is a look of pure agony. “Did you provoke him again?”

“I did not!”

“So you did.” Steve sighs and throws Y/N and apologetic look. “I’m sorry Y/N. It was nice to get to know you.” He waves at her as he makes his way to the elevator Tony came from. “Hey!” Her gaze switches to the other man. “I think you missed something.” He points at the confetti on the floor, a smirk on his face. Y/N glares at him and silently growls a death threat at Iron Man himself. Then she turns around and walks up to her carriage to collect the broom. A thought makes its way into her head. She walks up to Tony, who’s still smiling, and starts to sweep the confetti together. She, totally accidentally of course, pushes the broomstick into his side. He groans and his hand comes up to the point Y/N just pushed the stick in. Now it was Y/N’s time to smirk. “Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Stark. I didn’t saw you standing there.”

“Woman, don’t get to cocky on that.”

“Oh, what? Did I just damage the ego of Iron Man?” Tony stares at her open-mouthed, but just a second later a smile appears on his face. “You’re tough. I like that.” He claps his hand hard on her shoulder so that she stumbles forward. “See you around.” He walks past her and gets back to the elevator. Y/N stares at the closing door and shakes her head. “What did just happen? What did I do?”

 

* * *

 

It takes her the next two hours to get the whole hall and two rooms cleaned up. At some point she had to turn on her music box on full volume to distract her thoughts. Besides, with music all the work is a little easier to manage and it makes more fun than without it. Now it’s time to get all the bags out to the trash cans. She had managed to fill six whole bags. They are heavy and Y/N knows that she has to at least go four times to get everything out. She grabs the first bag and lifts it up. She manages four steps before she hears a sound, familiar to one of something ripping apart. Suddenly the bag is much lighter. She turns around and lets the bag fall to the floor. “Noo... Shit! Stupid little-“

“Miss Y/N!” Y/N jumps and turns to her left. There stands her boss, hands on her hips and a stern look on her face. “Mrs. Jenkins.” Y/N swallows and lets the few cups fall down, which she just picked up. Mrs. Jenkins was a woman in her best years. She was tall, but a little overweight. Her red hair was wrapped into a short ponytail, and she was wearing a nice outfit, which she only wore when something was up, and she had to meet with important people. She’s not only responsible for the cleaning stuff, but for the stuff in general. “Miss Langster. Please finish everything up here. I have to discuss something with Miss Y/N.” Another woman comes up behind Y/N’s boss and walks over to her. She crouches down and starts to clean the mess up Y/n just created. “Please follow me, Miss Y/N.” Y/N swallowed again. Mrs. Jenkins has a firm tone which usually means that trouble is ahead. Y/N doesn’t gets in trouble herself often, but she managed to get into it on one or two occasions and it was never a thrilling experience. With slumped shoulders she follows her to the elevator. It was quiet in there and Y/N feels uncomfortable. She dares to look at her boss, but she’s just staring right to the door. As they get out, Y/N finds herself on a floor she was never on before. They walk past some rooms, then her boss stops and Y/N nearly walks into her. “Please, take a seat Miss Y/N.” Her boss smiles at her and gestures into a room. Y/n almost lets her mouth fall open. Mrs. Jenkins was smiling? At her? She mentally shakes her head and walks into the room. It’s small, with a table and some folder cabinets. She goes for a chair in front of the desk and sits down; her boss hot on her heals. “So, Y/N. May I call you by your first name?” Y/N nods and watches as the other woman sit on the chair behind the desk. “Good.” A smile appears again as she reaches into a drawer. She places a folder on her desk and Y/N can clearly see her name on it. Y/N shuffles a little in her seat, wet hands clutching each other. “It’s okay. Don’t be nervous. It’s actually a long time science I had the pleasure to do this, so I’m a little nervous myself.” Y/N stares and bites her lip. Thoughts running wild in her head again. That’s it. She's going to fire me, because I literally insulted Tony Stark. Where do I get a job which pays as much as this one? “You’re there with me?” Her eyes switch up and meet the brown ones off her boss. She nods. “Good. So now that I call you by your first name, you can call me Melinda now as well.” She shoots a kind smile at her again. “So I was informed about a new development in our cleaning team. Mr. Stark personally asked for this, so I do not have another choice then to obligate his request.”

“Wh-what does that mean?”

“This means I have the pleasure to get you into a new field of working. You’re not longer allowed to clean down here.” A panicked expression shows on Y/N face and cold sweat tickles down her neck. “This”, Melinda grabs a pile from one of the folder cabinets. “This will be your new work clothes. You’re new section will be the floor 88 to 93.” She frowns and looks at the clothes that now lay on her lap. “I don’t understand. These floors are the personal space of-“

“Of the Avengers themselves. That’s right. I have the pleasure to tell you, that on the request of Mr. Stark, you’re now promoted to clean the personal rooms and living quarters.” Y/N mouth hangs open, and she stares at Melinda. “H-how?”

“It seems you got an impression on Mr. Stark. I congratulate you, Y/N. It’s been a long time since someone got promoted to this space. But it’s not only a pleasure. There are certain things that you have to think highly of. You’re not allowed to steal anything, of course. You’re the only cleaning stuff up there, so you have a tight schedule and you’re work hours will expand dramatically, which will show on the money you earn. There is a room especially for your use if you don’t want to go home. Each of the Avengers has different rules in their rooms you have to acknowledge and respect. Everything else you will learn when you start working upstairs.”

“This- is a lot to take in.”

“I know, but I think you will manage. Mr. Stark awaits you on your first shift tomorrow morning at six. Until then, you’re free to go up and look around and get familiar or to use you’re free time to your liking. Again congratulations Y/N.”

As she walks back down and out of the tower to her flat, she can hardly believe what just happened. Starting tomorrow she will be the personal cleaning stuff of the most common people of America.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N's first days of work and some bonding.

Y/N stays in front of her mirror, her new working clothes clutching to her body like it’s made for her. It’s a black dress which reaches to her knees. Thankfully she doesn’t have to wear an apron. The dress has little thin lines running in zigzag pattern around the bottom. She has to admit that it looks nice and doesn’t feel like work clothes. She has a name tag attached to her left breast and nice black sneakers. A brown leather belt is slung around her hips. The belt buckle the typical A, which the Avengers use as their recognition sign. She combs her hair while she admires her outfit and puts it up into a ponytail, so it doesn’t get in the way while she works. She gives herself a last proud look to her appearance, then she grabs her bag and gets on her way to the tower.

As she steps in she’s immediately greeted with a mess. The main hall she just cleaned yesterday looks like a war zone. Smashed glass lies around, holes in the walls are to be seen, and some of them too big to be caused from bullets and all the Avengers are down there. Steve and Sam Wilson are holding down a man with dark, long hair, whose face Y/N couldn’t see. He’s wrestling and struggling to get them away from him. Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton helped an out of it Tony Stark to sit on one of the couches and a silently nervous Bruce Banner comes out of an elevator with a bag in hand. He crouches down beside Steve and seems to inject the brown haired man something. A few seconds later he stops struggling and grunting and goes limp. Everybody sighs in relive. Sam slumps down on the ground while Steve stays up, puts his hand in his hips and stares at the ceiling while turning around. Then his gaze meets Y/N’s. “Y/N!” Every head in the room shots up and is directed at her. She blushes and takes a step back while Steve comes up to her. “How long have you been here? Did you get injured?” He hovers over her and searches for any kind of injury. Y/N manages to shake her head, her gaze directed on the unconscious man on the floor. Then she lifts her hand and points at him. “Is he okay?” Steve turns and throws a swift look at him. “Bucky will be okay in a bit.” He turns back to her again and lays his hand on her shoulders. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I just got here. What happened here? This is a mess.” She gestures around the room and her eyes meet the ones of Tony. “Ah, well. Seems Bucky got a bad nightmare. He was a little out of control after waking up. You know him, do you? That he was used to...”

“To get brainwashed, I know. Didn’t think I would see him, though.” Her gaze wanders back to the man on the floor and makes a step forward, but Steve lays a hand on her shoulder again. “Let him be. He needs his space, especially when he wakes up later.” She looks at Steve but nods. The thought of Bucky being alone makes her sad, but then she reminds herself that she doesn’t even know this man. _Why do I care about him like this?_

A clearing throat gets her back out of her stupor. “It’s nice to see that you accepted the promotion.” Y/n looks up at Tony who now stands up on slightly shaking legs and makes his way to her. “May I introduce you? This is Y/N. She’s our new personal cleaning girl”; he gestures at her and looks at the remaining teammates. Then he turns to her gain. “I figure you know everybody here.”

“I do. It’s nice to meet you”, Y/N feels herself blush as all the eyes fix on her. “I hope it doesn’t look like this upstairs, because if, so I’m gonna quit right away.” She looks around the room again as the whole room laughs. Tony claps her on the back, again a little too hard, so she stumbles right into Steve, who’s still standing slightly in front of her. He catches her and smiles at her, his hands on her hips. Y/N feels herself blush even more, and she’s sure know that she looks like a tomato, so she refuses to look at his face and directs her eyes down to her shoes instead. He releases her right away again and just stands next to her. They all gather their things up, while Steve and Sam grab Bucky to get him into one of Bruce’s labs. Natasha and Clint walk to the elevator while Tony turns to Y/N again. “C’mon. I’ll show you around.”

 

* * *

 

It had taken an hour for Y/N to get around all the floors and to see which room belongs to whom. Tony had given her a list with rules to follow, which included all the rules the Avengers had for their own rooms. While Steve didn’t have any rules; Clint ordered her to never touch his bow and arrows. Natasha said she could clean everything as well as Sam. Tony wouldn’t let her in his lab at all and about his rooms there she has to discuss everything with Pepper, while Bruce said he has just a few areas in his Lab she were allowed in. He’s barely in his room, so she could clean whenever she wants. Wanda and Vision, who Y/N hadn’t seen yet, wanted to clean their rooms themselves, so she weren’t allowed in them, either. That left just Bucky. His name wasn’t listed, so Y/N had asked Tony about it, but he answered that she couldn’t get in his room yet and that she have to talk to him personally. If he talks to her that is.

After Tony told her to just get familiar with the rooms and the equipment she now has, he introduced her to FRIDAY. Y/N could ask the AI for everything she wanted to know or things she needed.

Now she’s wandering around the different floors. As she walks past the common room she decides to step in. It’s empty, nobody was there. She walks up to the big panorama window and lets her gaze fly over the city. The view is unbelievable and Y/N thinks that she can stay here forever. Her room, which Tony had shown her earlier, has an amazing view, too (it was in one of the highest floor so of course the view was nice) but this is not to top. A hand touches her shoulder, and she jumps, throwing her hands around in shock. “Ow!” She turns and sees Steve standing behind her, holding his face with one hand. “O god. I’m sorry.” She holds her hands up and tries to shove Steve’s away from his face to look at it, but was glad as she discovers that the skin was just a little red. He waves his hand at her concern and smiles. “It serves me right. I scared you again.” Y/N laughs and gestures to the sitting area of the room. Steve slides on one couch while she goes and grabs a cooling pack from the fridge. “You don’t have to. It doesn’t even hurt.”

“It’s okay. It’s my fault that I hid you.” A shadow lets her look up and her eyes meet the brown ones of the Winter Soldier himself. He stands there, looking unsure of what to do, arms crossed and expression grim as he stares at her. Y/N decides to be polite and throws him a smile, but the brown-haired man stares a moment longer then turns around and leaves. She frowns at the empty space before her eyes drift back to Steve. “Don’t worry. He just needs some time to adjust to new people. Eventually he will warm up to you.”

“Isn’t he-“, she stops mid sentence and shakes her head. “Is he okay now?”

“What do you mean?” Steve looks confused at her and lets the cooling pack slide down to his lap. “You said that he had troubles after walking up.” Steve’s mouth forms an O shape, and he nods in understanding. “He needs some time to cool down. It’s hard for him after a rough night.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I learned a few things about him back in school. I have to admit that I’m amazed at what he lived through and despite all that tries to live a normal live again. I don’t think many people would manage that.” Steve stares at her with a blank face before he blinks a few times. “You’re not scared?”

“No. Why should I?”

“Because he’s literally the most dangerous man in the whole world.”

“He may be, but I don’t think he would hurt someone. Besides, I’m in the safest place I can be, right? I doubt that some of you would let him near me if you think he would try to kill me at any second.” Steve nods at that. “Right. I see what Tony meant.” Y/N cocks her head in question at that, but Steve just smiles at her. “What was it, you wanted to say?”

“What?”

“Before that, what were you about to ask?”

“Oh”, she blushes again and looks behind Steve. “I, eh... I don’t know. I think I feel a little emphatic and was asking myself if he doesn’t feel lonely. ‘Dunno where this came from.” As her eyes meet the blue ones of Steve, they look kind to her. “He does, I think. He warmed up to everybody else, but he mostly keeps for himself or joins me in the training area. Sometimes Sam joins us, but he never talks with him. But it gets better. I’m sure.” Y/N looks at him for a moment, a faint smile grazing her face. They talk for a while before he retreats back to his room.

 

* * *

 

The next days flew away in no time. She got used to her new job and found that it made more fun than it ever did, mostly because she could hear music all the time and nobody really bothered to talk much to her while she was working. She had made a schedule for herself how to clean the rooms and common areas. Today the top of this list is the common room. She sweeps the floors and cleans the couches and tables. Then she looks at the bar and cleans the glasses, makes the kitchen clean again, because whoever made breakfast didn’t bother to put his stuff away again. The next points on her list are the private rooms. She figures she starts with the first one on the next floor which was Steve’s. She knocks and as she gets no answer she steps in carefully. “Steve? It’s Y/N. I’m here to clean up?” She waits but gets no answer, so she rolls her new carriage into the room and looks around. Steve’s room would count as a two room flat in itself. The living room area is bigger than Y/N's entire flat she lives in. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes Miss Y/N?”

“Where’s Steve?”

“Captain Rogers is currently located in the training room, together with Sergeant Barnes and Mr. Wilson”, the AI answers with a friendly voice. “Ok, could you turn on some music?”

“Certainly, Miss Y/N. I allowed myself to get access to your mobile to play some of your favorite music.” True to her word a song plays loud through the room. Y/N smiles to herself and starts to sing along, while she sweeps every surface with a broom and a wet rag to get rid of the dust and dirt. She’s in the third song when she turns around and stops. Steve stands in the door, mouth wide open and staring at her, while she stares at him for a moment. Then he clears his throat and calls out to the AI to stop the music. The silence that follows is a bit awkward, because none of them knows what to say. A blush creeps on her face as Steve shakes his head and gives her a polite smile. “You have a nice voice.”

“Th-thank you”, she stammers and curses herself for not closing the door before starting to work. “I, eh, I can leave if you want to be alone.” She looks around and gathers up some stuff she had laid down while cleaning. “No, please. It’s okay”, he gestures around and steps further into the room. “I’m actually glad that you’re cleaning up here. I don’t have the time to do so and it kinda is a mess.” She smiles at him and lays the broom back down. Steve looks at her for a moment, smiles and then grabs a folder which lies on his coffee table. “I forgot this.” His face turns a light shade of pink while he smiles again. Then he gestures to the door. “I better go back. See you around. Sorry again.” With that he’s gone. Y/N’s stunned and looks at the empty door frame. Then she shrugs and gets back to cleaning up. After she cleaned his room she makes her way through Clint’s, Natasha’s and Sam’s. It actually got quite late as she leaves Sam’s room, and she considers if it’s a good time to make use of the room Tony had prepared for her to use. She decides against it and goes home instead. This was her workplace after all.

  


* * *

  


The next few months are uneventful. She still doesn’t talk to anybody except if someone stumbles into her while she’s cleaning and still then it remains mostly in small talk. Some of them tried to get to know her better, but she just answers in short sentences, so the others figured if she was up to talking or not. Natasha had tried more aggressive so Y/N found herself talking with her and Steve more often. Natasha even told her to call her Nat. FRIDAY had prepared a whole playlist just for her to use. She also had brought some decorations for her room in the tower to make it a bit friendlier if she decides to stay there, which up until now had happened just two times, because of parties Tony had insisted for her to join. She had stayed a few hours before retreating to her room and brooding over the mess they had created, which she was forced to clean up the next day. She has managed to get some sympathy for all of them, but she still hated them if they threw parties without any reason. Steve has stumbled into her a few times while she was singing, so she gave it up and just hummed to stop awkward silence between the two. Y/N even sees Bucky a few times. She tries to talk to him, but he never really talks back. A few times he nods or shakes his head before he runs off again. She thought that he smiled at her once, but changed her mind as soon as the thought came. It seems the Winter Soldier doesn’t like her very much, because he tries to avoid her. He turns around and walks back to where he comes from if he sees her or rushes past her without much looking.

Y/N had the weekend off and had met up with her brothers to talk about the last months they didn’t have seen each other. She just arrived a few minutes ago, and she’s already making her way into the common room. Today she wants to clean the windows. She places a bucket with water and the wiper in front of the panorama window, then she walks out again and picks up the vacuum cleaner and starts cleaning the floor. She dances to the rhythm of the song which FRIDAY has playing for her and pays no attention to her surroundings. A few times she thinks she has seen a shadow walking past her, but every time she looks up and watches closely she finds that she doesn’t sees anybody or anything suspicious, so she gets back to cleaning the floor. As she finishes she admires her work before gazing at the dirty windows. It’s time to clean them. Tony has promised to get her something which made it easier and quicker to clean them up, but he didn’t come up with something until now. She doesn’t really mind. The windows have to be cleaned once a month and that she can handle even if she has to use the old things they have to do so.

She grabs the bucket and the wiper and starts to clean everything up. She struggles to get on the top of the windows, so she glances around the room and grabs a chair, places it in front of the window and climbs up. She leans a bit more to the right to get a few extra inches as she hears something clatter behind her. She turns around a little too fast and sees the vacuum cleaner falling down. She loses her balance on the soft seat, starts to sway a bit and feels her ankle twist as she tries to get her balance back. Y/N feels herself falling and closes her eyes. She expects it to hurt when she hits the ground but it was a soft thud. Carefully she peels an eye open and then throws them open fully as she looks straight into the face of Bucky who crouches beside her, holding her still in his arms. He looks at her a bit angrily before he releases her and stands up to sit on one of the couches. He crosses his arms as her glares at her. “I- Thank you.” He nods, but makes no move to leave the room. Instead, he looks at her. Y/N can’t other than to think that she sees some curiosity in his eyes, so she stands up but regrets it as a searing pain flicks through her ankle. She hisses and sits down again. Suddenly hands touch her ankle. She never thought that Bucky could be so gentle, but now she stares at him as he inspects her ankle and walks away before he returns with a package of frozen peas and presses it on her ankle, which is swelling fast. While she holds it in place he goes back to sitting on the couch and gets back to glaring at her. Y/N looks between her ankle and the couch. “May I sit?” Bucky looks at the empty space beside him and shrugs his shoulders before he nods once again. Carefully she walks up to him and sits down beside him, paying attention to leave some room between them. She learned early that Bucky didn’t like it if someone was to close, and he had no way of escape. “That shocked me.” She giggles a little, but stops short as a raw deep voice starts to speak. “That was careless. You could have got hurt.” She stares at him as he turns his head at her. “What? Just because I do not talk often doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“No!” She waves her hands in front of him and almost hits his face, but he grips them and pushes them down to the pea bag. She blushes a bit and starts talking once again. “I never thought you couldn’t speak. I just figured you don’t like me that much and just don’t want to talk to me. I didn’t expect you to talk to me now. It surprised me, that’s all.” Bucky grunts and looks down at his feet. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t know you.”

“I understand that. You don’t have to justify yourself.” He looks up at her again. His eyes are scanning her for a moment before a smirk appears on her face. “Stevie said you had a nice voice. He’s right.” Y/N blushes hard and looks down on her own hands which were still in his grip. She feels her cheeks heat up even more. He was flirting with her. He never talks but now he flirts with her? “You have some nice moves as well. I saw you dancing.” Y/N rips her hand from his and buries her head in them. “That’s embarrassing. That wasn’t meant to be seen.”

“Then you should avoid doing it in the open field.” She peeks at him through her fingers. Bucky is looking out of the window, and she’s sure now that he has a blush on his cheeks as well. “I’m just saying”

“Well you’re right.” Their eyes meet and Y/N smiles shyly at him. And he smiles back.

They talk for a while and stop just as everyone else came in. They stare at the two, but a smile appears on Steve’s face and Y/N thinks that his expression shows some relief. Sam and Clint even give her a thumbs up. Tony just frowns at the chair by the window, hits one fist in his other hand and vanishes back in the hall they just came from. Y/N talks a lot to the other Avengers until deep in the night. It’s the first night Y/n uses her room in the tower.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens if someone has to go on a mission? Someone who makes Y / N feel comfortable.

The days and weeks go by and Y/N finds that her new position is more comfortable than she had thought of before. She mostly is alone while working but now and then Steve, Bucky or Tony will join her and they talk. She even misses the little talks with them when they’re on a mission. She befriended with all three of them quickly and sometimes when she doesn’t feel like going home and stays in the tower she meets up with Steve to watch some movies, listen to old music Steve likes or they just talk. Occasionally Bucky will join them but he never really talks to her then. Instead, he watches her closely and when some people get the feeling that he’s avoiding her, she knows that he watches her to make sure that she’s not going to kill herself.

Y/N never thought of this to be possible. Alone the thought of working in the private quarters was ridiculous, but to be friends with one of the Avengers was something impossible. Even when she just knows Steve, Bucky and Tony it was something to be very proud of. She even found that she wasn’t as angry at Tony for throwing parties out of nowhere anymore. She talked with some of her friend and most of them didn’t believe her but her best friend was as excited as she was and when they met once a week she would ask question after question. Y/N told her siblings as well but neither of them really cared. They had their own struggles with life. It’s not that they weren’t happy for her, that she knew, but after her parents died they started to drift apart. Either of them developed interests which the other didn’t care for and it was okay. They weren’t really close anymore, but they managed to stay in contact and for Y/N that is what matters. Even if it meant to miss the closeness they had back in the days as kids.

Currently Y/N is in the hall of her room. She just finished cleaning the floor and was now taking a break. So, she walks into the common area. She goes straight to the fridge and takes out some grapes she stored there this morning. “Y/N!” She twitches and hits her head on a shelf above the fridge as she turns around to face the voice that called her name. “Stebe?”

“Yeah, sorry.” He scratches his neck as she touches the point of her head which had hit the shelf. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you ever talked to somebody of the others. We’re having movie night tonight and I and Nat were chosen to get snacks and dinner ready.”

“And now you want me to... join you?”

“Yeah, kinda. I just thought you could get along with Nat very well. You’re similar in some ways.”

“I- I... Sure, why not. But is it okay for me to just join you all?”

“I don’t think that will be a problem. What do you think Buck?” Suddenly someone comes in behind Steve and Y/N’s met with Bucky’s grim expression. “It will probably be better. At least she’s not jumping off chairs then.”

“You’ll never let that drop, will you?”

“Not really.” She sighs and rolls her eyes. Since that day Bucky always brought that up if it would find in the conversation. “Okay. Would you go with Nat to the store down the street? I’ll go and pick up the movies.”

“You now that there are streaming services where you can watch any movie you like, do you?”  
“Yeah Nat said something about that. Just call me old-fashioned.” After a few minutes of talking Steve and Bucky retreat into the training room. Y/N sighs again and walks back to her room. She wanted to clean the windows again but now that they were going to have a movie night she decides to clean up the common area for everyone. It takes her about three hours to get everything cleaned up and by then Nat stands in the door frame, arms crossed over her chest and an amused look on her face. “I like that you take your job this seriously.”

“Natasha.”

“No.” The red-haired women holds up a had and shakes her head. “You’re part of the family, at least Steve says that so just call me Nat. It's what everybody else does anyway.” Y/N nods and takes a few steps closer to the other woman. “Can I do something for you?”

“Yeah. We were supposed to go shopping. Movie night starts in about two hours so we should start now, don’t you think.”

“Oh shit. I totally forgot. Just let me change really quick and put my stuff away. I meet you at the front door.”

 

* * *

 

“No, stop. Clint!” Y/N giggles and tries to hide behind Steve but Clint manages to aim perfectly to let the thrown popcorn hit her head. “Please!”

“You asked for it!”

“You did twitch as the axe came through the window!”

“I did not.” The next few popcorn bombs flew into her direction but this time Y/N was quick to hide behind Steve and instead of her Steve was hit against the head. “I saw it too. You’re officially caught now.” Nat pats his shoulder and grins at him while he pouted and stares in betrayal at his best friend. “I hate you. You’re supposed to fight on my side!”

“Sorry Clint. Y/N and I did some talking and we decided to be against every man in this tower.” Y/n giggles again and comes out of her hideout. She inspects the faces of Bucky, Steve, Sam, Bruce, Clint and Tony and starts laughing. “I think Steve regrets inviting me now.” She looks over to Nat who grins back at her. “Oh Bruce, you don’t have to worry. I think you’re actually the only man that is allowed to team up with us.” Nat pats the man on the shoulder and Y/N sees how he lets out a sigh of relieve. “I have to admit, this is the best movie night I ever was on.” Y/N leans back on the sofa and stretches out to her full length. “But its sad that Vision and Wanda won’t join us. We have at least two films left.”

“Yeah well. I didn't think they can hide on us for any longer.” Tony leans back in his chair and smirks at them. “Oh no, Tony. What did you do?”

“Nothing. Really. But it could be that Friday accidentally cut every power to their rooms and turned off the water.”

“Please, tell me you didn’t.” Steve rolls his eyes and Bruce lays a hand on his face in shame. Tony just lies on his chair casually and smirks further. It takes just ten minutes in the next movie as a really annoyed Wanda walks into the common room, followed by an expressionless Vision. “Tony, I hate you.”

“That’s fine. Family is supposed to hate each other and join together for movie night.” Wanda sighs and looks around the room. Her eyes land on Y/N and a small smile appears on her face. Y/N motions for her to take a seat beside her so Wanda comes up to her and sits down. “I’m sorry that tony interrupted your evening with Vision.” She whispers into Wanda’s ear as the woman got comfortable. “Well, it's okay. He does that a lot. I get my revenge at some day.”

The movies go on and Y/N talk with everybody a lot. At the end of the night she knows that she’s going to be good friends with Nat and Wanda. They had a lot in common. Everybody else were really nice to and now she believes that it was the right decision to take this job. She had never this much of a social life. She was just about to retreat into her room as tony came running back into the room right after he had just left. “Guys! We have a situation. Clint, Nat Steve, Sam. Suit up. We leave in ten minutes.” Y7n sits on her sofa looking concerned as Steve, Nat and the other jump up and run out of the room. Her eyes met the ones of Bucky for a brief moment. He stands up and sits down right beside her, which makes the remaining people look up at him. Then he leans in and whispers something into Y/N ear. She listens and nods. Bucky stands up again and leaves the room without looking back. Y/N fidgets around a little in her seat. “Y/N? It will be okay. We’re doing this a lot. Especially Tony and Steve.”

“I know, thank you, Bruce.” She smiles an unsure smile at the man. “I think I’ll… I go to my room.” She stands up and gave everybody a weak wave. “Goof night Y/N.”

Y/N walks down the hall but walks past her room. She stops in her tracks just as she stands in front of Bucky’s room. She hesitates but eventually knocks on the door. A muffled, rough voice calls her in, so she opens the door and steps into the room. Bucky’s sitting on the couch, a book in his hand. He doesn’t look up at her and after a few seconds of silence he sighs annoyed and looks up at her. He motions for her to close the door and sit down on beside him. She does and as she sits beside him, she starts shuffling again. Her fingers wring at each other and she bites her lower lip. “Would you stop that.” Bucky’s hand lies on top of hers and he glares at her. “I- S-Sorry.”

“Stop it. Stop worrying.”

“I don’t-“ She stops speaking as she sees Bucky’s look at her. “Okay I do worry.”

“Why?”

“Because… Because I got quite close to Steve and Tony. And- And I like the others too. I know that they get in danger now and it worries me. I don’t want them to get hurt.” The pressure of Bucky’s hand that still lies on hers gets a little tighter and makes her look up. “They come back. It's not the first time.”

“I know that, still…” She drifts off and looks down at her hands. Bucky takes his hand back and returns to reading his book. It's silent for several minutes. “Why did you tell me to come if you’re not going to talk to me?” She looks at Bucky with a curious expression. He doesn’t look up from his book. “Because you would worry all night and wouldn’t get to bed.”

“What makes you think that this will help?”

“Because I drag you to bed if you refuse to go and I will knock you out if you don’t go to sleep.”

“You’re strange.”

“Sometimes.” They’re silent for a few minutes again until Bucky speaks up this time. “Does it help?” A smile creeps on Y/N face as she inspects his face. “Are you concerned about me or do you worry about the guys yourself?” He is silent and doesn’t answer but Y/N has the feeling that it is a little of both. “Yes, it helps. Thank you, Bucky.”

“No problem. You should go to bed.” Y/n nods and stands up she goes to the room door and is about to open it as Bucky calls from behind her. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I- Into my room? To get to bed?”

“You’re taking my bed.”

“What? No!” She turns around, shocked at his words. “It’s your room. Where are you going to sleep?”

“On the couch. I don’t sleep much. It will be fine. Stop arguing and go to bed or I throw you on it.” Her gaze switches between Bucky and the bedroom door. She debates with herself but after a few seconds she comes to the conclusion that Bucky’s not making a joke. He would throw her into the room. So, she passes the room and makes her way into the bedroom. “Thank you, Bucky.” Then she closes the door without missing on the little smile that shows on Bucky’s lips.

 

* * *

 

It takes four days for everyone to get back. Y/N had spent a few hours each day with Bucky and Sam or had joined Bruce or vision in the common room. But since the minute Friday told her when the others were going to get back she was exited. She went into town after picking up some fresh washed clothes from her actual apartment. She brought some things and packed them up in a fine wrapping paper. Back at the tower she sneaked into the room of everybody and even if Tony still doesn’t allow her to go into his lab, she had asked Jarvis to let her in and she gladly did it. Y/N drops the little package she wrapped for tony on one of his working benches and looked around the room. She never came dome her since she worked here. “So, this is where you build your stuff, huh?”

“Miss Y/N, I have to inform you that MR. Stark and the others will land in less than three minutes.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” Y/N makes her way out of the lab and joins the other to wait for the missing ones. As they get out of the jet Y/n sees that everybody looks exhausted but other than that they were fine. They had some cuts and bruises but nobody seems to have a serious injury. They greet each other and talk for a minute before they retreat into her rooms. Y/N walks into the common room followed by Bucky and Vision. It doesn’t take more than ten minutes before the first one comes into the room. “Y/N? Were you in my room?” Nat stands there, holding the package Y/N had placed on her bed in her hands. “Yes.” She smiles at the red-haired woman as she walks up to her and sits down on one of the armchairs. She was just about to rip the paper off her package as Steve, Sam and Clint came into the room. They all wore the same confused expression Nat had just a few seconds before. And thy all held the package in their hands. Y/N just smiles ta them and motions for them to take a seat around them. It takes them just seconds to rip the wrapping paper off and look at what Y/N got them. Each of them held a little key chain in their hands. It was a little angle that held a banner with ‘be safe’ on it. “It’s so you have an angle that watches over you, so you can get home safe.” Nobody says a word and Y/N starts to worry that she went overboard. That is until Steve jumps up and takes her into a bone crushing hug. “Thank you.” He whispers into her ear as she slings her arms around him and pets his back. “Its fine.”

“Y/N!” They part abruptly as Tony storms into the room, glaring at Y/N with a grim expression. “You were in my lab!” She opens her mouth to explain herself but tony just hold up a hand to silence her. He glares a second and Y/N feels Steve tense and start to stand up as Tony’s expressions softens. “I would be furious if I wouldn't know already what you did. I have to talk to Friday though. But thank you, Y/N.” he holds up his chain and gives her a small smile. “There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m just glad your all back.” She smiles at all of them. After she saw how much everybody was happy about their presents, she starts to get one for everyone when they got onto a mission. Every time she did, she was greeted with a smile and happy people returning home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and steve try to cheer Y/N up, but something happens nobody is really happy about.

Raindrops fly against the window Y/N stands in front of. She’s in the common room and looks out. Her gaze flays over New York, deep in her thoughts. She doesn’t know how long she’s already here but her feet start to hurt, and she figures that it has to be more than an hour. Still, she doesn’t want to move. The windows and the sight calm her thoughts. It’s the day of the year Y/N hates the most. Days before the date of today she starts feeling depressed. Her best friend knows that and always starts to try to cheer her up but since she spends more and more time at the tower, she sees her less and less. They text each other and Y/N got several texts from her already, but she just ignores them. She finds that her friend will understand and as soon as the next day has passed, she will call her or meet up to talk to her about it. Today is the day Y/N and her brothers lost so much. On this day, years back, her parents died. Y/N’s feels tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat as she swallows to fight against the tears. She hadn’t told the other what a day it is and up until now she managed to either get out of the way of everyone or make conversations as short as possible so that nobody caught on her emotionally mood. She’s deep in her thought again, so she doesn’t hear the steps and the laughter on the hall. Only as the door opens and the laughter fills the room, she turns around and wipes her eyes. She’s met with several faces of confusion as the others caught up on her presence and the laughter dies immediately as they see the tears in her eyes. “Y/N?” Wanda makes a step to her but Y/N shakes her head. Steve and Sam exchange a look and Bucky grabs Nat’s wrist as she, too, tries to step forward to Y/N. “I-I’m fine. S-Sorry.” Y/N shakes her head and walks past them. Out of the room and the awkward situation and to her room. She opens the door and closes it behind her. “Friday, can you tell everybody to leave me alone for today?”

“Sure, Miss Y/N.”

“And can you not tell them about what a day it is today? I know that Tony already knows. He sticks his nose everywhere- Just make sure the others don’t know. I don’t want to be pitied.”

“I can’t guarantee for them to find out on their own but I won’t tell them. Do you wish for me to get lunch and dinner up to your room or do you like to join the others?”

“To my room, please. Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“No problem Miss Y/N.” She sighs and walks to her bed. She sits down on the edge and let silent tears stream down her cheek. She knows it’s pathetic after these many years to cray over the loss, but she's still as sad as she was on the day, she got the massage. She was never really allowed herself to mourn the way she needs to because she felt the presser and duty to care for her siblings. Normally she would all come together at the grave each year, no matter of the weather but this year Y/N found herself to doesn't get the energy to do so. This year would be the first year when she's not going to visit them. She knows very well that her brothers will wait for her and that they start to worry before they get angry because she doesn't show up and won't give them an explanation why she's not coming. But it doesn't matter to her. She's in a hole where no one is able to pull her out to. She s depressed, and she won't ask for help because there is no one who could help her. She knows that Steve, Bucky or the others are there for her, but she just not comfortable asking for help. So, she won't. At some point she had drifted off on her bed after laying down. As she opens her eyes its past lunch. She's not really hungry, so she just decides to stay in bed as a knock sounds on her door. She's silent but it knocks again and again and get louder and louder each time. “Y/N! If you're not going to open, I break this door.” Bucky's voice sounds through the wood. Y/N closes her eyes and breathes out before standing up and opening the door. She's greeted with Bucky's expressionless face. He holds a tray witch eggs, juice, coffee and a package of tissues. “Are you going to stare or can I come in?”

“If you have to.”

“I have to.” Y/N looks into his eyes and reluctantly steps aside to let him in. She watches as he walks to her bed and places the tray on the mattress. He turns around and crosses his arms. They star at each other for a moment where no one says anything. Then she let her head hand and looks at her feet. “You're not asking what's up with me?”

“No.” they’re silent again until Y/N speaks up again. “Why not?”

“Because I know how it is when you don’t want to talk about something and other people pressure you to do so. I’ll wait. If you're ready you can tell me.” Y/N nods and walks up to her bed. She sits down and snacks the cup of coffee from the tray. “I thought you would already know what's up with me.”

“I do.”

“And you're still not asking?” She looks up at him in confusion. “I told you. I wait until you're ready to tell.” She nods again but then she lets out a laugh. “You're kind of like my littlest brother. He always waited for the others to talk but would never talk about himself.” Bucky doesn’t answer, but he doesn't have to. Y/N knows that he's listening because he slowly sinks down on the mattress. “He probably mad about me now because he and my other brother are waiting for me. But I can’t go this year. Every year when we meet at this grave I- I feel like I have to comfort them. I can’t mourn. And it eats me up a little more each year. This year is just- I’m just-” She bites her lip. And stares at the brown liquid splash around in the cup while her hands shake. Bucky takes it form her hands and holds out his metal hand for her to hold. But then he turns a little and holds up his other hand. Y/N stares at it but doesn't take it. Instead, she reaches for the metal one and closes her finger gently around his wrist. She feels him tense and relax again as she inspects it a little before she speaks up again. “I’m burned out. I want to see them, to visit my parents. But today I just don’t feel it. I don’t want this date to be always one of bad memories and decisions. I'm tired of being the on responsible for my siblings. I want to get comforted. I want to be cared for. I want- I want to just have a bit of peace.” Its silent again. Then Bucky slips down into a crouch before her and lays his flesh hand on her cheek, wiping a tear away. “That’s why I’m here. Steve told me to get you something to eat, to force you to get dressed and drag you down. He knows what a day it is too.”

“How do you two know?”

“Tony told Steve after you left. He got there as you were just around the corner.”

“Of course, he told you.” She looks down and shakes her head. “So, do I have to force-feed you or are you going to eat by yourself?”

 

* * *

 

Steve parks the car and turns out the engine. He turns himself, so he could face Y/N who sits in the back of the car. “You’re ready?”

“No?” He smiles kindly at her then he takes the key out of the ignition, opens his door and steps out of the car. He opens Y/N's door and waits for her to step out as well. Bucky's already waiting for her. He smiles a little and rare smile which Y/N found suits him. Unsure of the whole thing she smiles back and follows the super soldiers into the mall. “Guys. What are we doing here?” The boys turn around. They exchange a look before each of them takes one of Y/N’s arms. “It’s called distraction.”

“I don’t need a distraction.”

“I don’t think so. You know, when my mother died, I picked a lot of fights to get my mind off of the fact that she won't be around anymore. Bucky had to safe me from every single one. When I thought Bucky died, I tried to get drunk. The serum made me unable to do so, but I still tried. If I had the money or another choice, I probably would have enjoyed a day at the mall. That’s why we're here. You don’t have to worry because Tony promised to pay for everything you want.”

“But I don’t want anything.” Steve raised an eyebrow at her and smirks. He still drags her into the first shop he thought might interest her.

 

 

Two hours later Y/N is laughing as Bucky tells a story about Steve from the 40s. They have settled down in a small café down the street, a little away from the full mall. “He did not?”

“He did. He's a punk.” Bucky hits Steve's back of his head with his hand while laughing with Y/N. “Jerk.” Steve slaps Bucky playfully on the shoulder and tries to look angry but his smile betrays him. Suddenly a strange feeling overcomes Y/N, and she freezes. “What's wrong?” Steve turns serious as he sees her tense. He sits up a little straighter and leans a bit forward to talk to her better. “Y/N? You're okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I just had a strange feeling, that’s all.”

“What feeling?” Bucky's leaning forward to, curiosity on his face. Y/N shakes her head a little, forcing a smile on her face. “It's probably nothing.”

What is it?”

“… I felt watched. Like someone spies on us.” Bucky and Steve sigh and lean back in their chair. “Well you're out with us. It's normal that you feel this way:”

“I told you it's probably nothing. But I have this a lot lately.”

“What do you mean?” Steve lays his head a little to the side and crosses his arms. Y/N avoids his eyes for a moment and starts fiddling with her napkin. “I don’t know. When I go home, I feel like someone is following me. But when I turn around there is nobody. When I go grocery shopping, I hear steps behind me but there is nobody, too. And sometimes I just feel like someone is staring at me. I probably imagined most of it. I mean it's just logical that I'm not alone in the grocery store or that people are out when I go home.” Bucky and Steve hum but neither of them says something. “Don’t worry. I’m fine.” She smiles again and this time Steve and Bucky exchange a look. “Guys, really. I’m fine. I think you were right. The mall really helped. I feel better now. Thank you.”

“No problem, doll.” Bucky smiles bust as soon as it came it disappears again. “Did- did you just call me doll?”

“I- Maybe?” The moment of awkwardness is interrupted of Steve's heart full laughing. He slaps Bucky's shoulder as his friend turns a little shape of pink. Y/N soon starts giggling as well. They talk for a while longer and when they finally decide to go home its already fast nine in the evening.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Tony.” Y/N sits on the couch in the common room the day after the boys took, he out. It's her day off. Normally she would use these days to sleep in, clean her own home or to meet up with friends. Since she befriended with the Avengers, she finds herself spending more and more time in the tower instead in her actual home. She had just turned on the TV to watch the news as tony steps into the room. He looked like he hadn’t slept for a long time, but this was a normal act for him. That much Y/N learn in the first moth she worked up here. “What are you watching?”

“The news.”

“Boring.”

“I had no time last night. It got late.” Tony raised an eyebrow but surprisingly didn’t say what he had obviously in mind. “What? Say it. You won't live long enough if you don’t spit it out now.” Tony grins. “Did you make fondue?” Y/N sighs and shakes her head. “No, we did not. Were friends Tony. We went just out and it was late as we got here.” Y/N closes her eyes, so she doesn’t see Tony as his face went slack and his eyes fixes on the television. “Y/N.”

“But I didn’t want to sleep here, so I was going home.”

“Y/N.”

“There didn’t happen any-“

“Y/N!”

“What?!” Tony motions to the television. Behind the reporter was a picture of Steve and Bucky. But there was someone else. “W-what? How-?”

“Hey guys. What are you doing? Y/N is that you?” Nat walks in and stares at the TV. Neither Tony nor Y/N answer her. It wasn’t necessary because the picture was clear. There she was. In the little café she sat with Steve and Bucky yesterday. Y/N turns up the tune of the TV to listen what the reporter says.

 

“Yesterday it was discovered that Steve Rogers, better known as ‘Captain America’ and his controversial Friend James Buchanan Barnes, also better known as ‘The Winter Soldier’ were out in town. However, they were not alone. Like these pictures show they were in company of a woman. Now people ask themselves if this is just a normal friendship or something more. It seems that they are pretty close, so who is this ominous Woman.”

 

For a while it was silent. Nobody dared to say something. Even as the rest of the team came into the room it was silent. They all stared in confusion as they looked at Y/N, Tony and Nat as say sat on the couch with open mouths. Finally, Clint sad something. “Since when is the weather this interesting?” Y/N whipped around and stared at Bucky and Steve before shouting in a hysteric voice. “They got a photo. I told you felt something. They showed a photo of us, and they tell stories about us now!”

“What?” Steve and Bucky answer in one go. Y/N stares at them, then she hides her face in the pillows of the couch. “Yeah. Obviously, someone found it interesting that Captain America and the Winter Soldier were laughing on a date with an ominous woman nobody knows. The whole world knows Y/N face now and is searching for her.” Tony’s gaze wanders between Bucky and Steve. “And not everybody is really amused about that.” Nat sits up straight her mobile tight in her grip. “On twitter are many tweets about that and not all of them are friendly. Actually, there are some that are really mean.” Y/N groans at that. Nobody says something for a while. After a few minutes’ Y/N looks up at the group. “What are we going to do now?”

“Nothing.”

“What? Tony. Whole New York knows my face! I can’t just go out without being seen.”

“Yeah well then don’t. You already have a room here. Stay.”

“No! I won't stay. I have a life out there. Just try to calm this whole mess. I don’t want the whole city to either hate me or congratulate me on a relationship with two super soldiers. Because there is no relationship. There is nothing to hate me for because nothing happened. This was just a day spend with friends.” Y/N glares at Tony, and he lets out his breath. “Okay. I’ll tweet against it and hold a press conference. I can’t promise anything Y/N.”

“Thank you.” She sinks down into the pillows and closes her eyes. She misses Steve and Bucky exchanging a sad look. Then Wanda steps in. “Y/N, there’s post for you.” She passes an envelope to Y/N. She eyes it suspicious, no opening. “Don’t you want to open it?” Nat looks at her, curiosity on her face. “I... No?! I’m confused.”

“Why?” Steve steps behind her leaning over the backrest to look at her. She turns her head, shaking the envelope and looking at him. “I don’t know who would send me something. There’s just a handful of people who know where I work and none of them ever sends me letters.”

“Maybe it’s an invitation?” Y/N eyes the envelope again. Then she mumbles some word before ripping it open. “Holy…” Steve stares at the thing’s Y/N pulls out. Everybody comes a little closer to look at it. “Photos… From everywhere I go.” There’s a photo of her in front of her apartment, in front of the tower, in the grocery store, out on the street. And a photo of her with Steve and Bucky. Steve stares at it before he sees something else in the envelope. “Tony. This is bad. “Why?”

“Because of this.” Y/N looks up at the paper Steve holds up. “What is it?”

“That’s…” Bucky steps up besides Steve. “That’s the symbol of HYDRA uses, and if they send it to you…” Y/N looks at him. His face looks kind of scared. “Then what?”

“Then it will end bad.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N gets moved.

Y/N walks up and down in her room. She does this for the last three hours since Bucky, Steve and Ton had left to investigate on the fact that HYDRA obviously knew about her being with the Avengers. She doesn’t really know why this was so important, then on the other side no one really talks to her about that. “FRIDAY? Is someone in the tower?”

“Agent Romanov is in her room.”

“Okay.”

“Would you like for me to call her?”

“No, thank you. I just might go to her myself.” She turns away from her bed and walks out of her room. She rounds corners and walks up empty halls until she stands in front of Nat’s room. She hesitates for a moment before knocking timidly. She chews on her bottom lip for a moment until the door opens. Nat takes one look at her before motioning her to come in. She steps in and stays in the room, not knowing what to do now that she’s here. “You’re nervous.”

“Well, yeah. It’s not every day that creepy people start stalking you and nobody talks to you about them.” Nat nods and sits down on an armchair. “What do you want to know?”

“Why is it important for them to know where I am? What do they want from me?” Nat takes in a deep breath before standing up again. She walks to a cabinet, getting out two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She sets everything in front of them on a table, fills the glasses and gives one to Y/N before taking one herself. Y/N sits down on another armchair opposite Nat. “What do you know about HYDRA?”

“The same thing everybody knows, I guess. They’re the reason why Bucky is… still alive. Why Steve got to be a super soldier. They’re evil.” Nat nods and takes a sip of her whiskey. Y/N does the same but regrets it immediately. She coughs and puts the glass back on the table. “This is nasty.” Nat smiles before speaking up again. “HYDRA is an organization who likes to experiment on people. It's not only for science but to win power. They don’t care for people, costs or what pain they cause. The main goal for them is to achieve what aim they set themselves.”

“But what does that have to do with me?”

“Bucky was one of their experiments. There were more than him, but he’s the only one still alive, besides Wanda of course.” Y/N nods and leans back a little, fiddling with her fingers. She still nervous somehow. “After Steve got him back HYDRA had a bad setback. It’s obvious that Steve and Bucky like you. How far that goes, I don’t know, but for other people it leaves room to speculate. You saw this yourself today. For HYDRA, it’s good enough that they like you. Steve fears that HYDRA tries to capture you. And If they do there are a few options for which reason they do it.” Y/N nods slowly. She has a few reasons in her head. “They torture me to get their attention, or they get me to exchange me against Bucky.”

“Possible. But Steve has more in mind, I think.” Y/N looks up confused. “What do you mean?”

“He didn’t say it out loud but I’m not a spy for nothing. I think what he has in mind is that HYDRA won’t let go of you so easily. He thinks that they will capture you to make you their new project. They want us to know that, otherwise they hadn’t made it so obvious that they know of you.” Y/N looks down again. Her eyes wander to the glass on the table. In a second, she reaches for it and drowns all of it before making a weird face and placing it back down. Its silent before she looks at Nat again. “What can I do now?” Nat just shrugs. “Wait for them to get back.” Slowly she nods again before looking down at her hands once more.

 

 

It’s an hour later that FRIDAY announces that the three men have returned. Nat stands up motioning for Y/N to follow her. Y/N takes in a deep breath before she stands up and follows Nat to the common room. No one says a word and Y/N feels herself getting nervous again. She grips the hem of her shirt and looks down the whole way. Just as a heavy hand lands on her shoulder she looks up. Tony stands beside her, a little smile on his face. She knows that he's only smiling to calm her nerves, but she’s still thankful even if it doesn't work. She looks around and sees the faces of Steve, Bucky, Sam, Clint, Wanda and Nat. They all sit on the couches or stand around them. She walks to an empty space on a sofa right beside Bucky and sits down, again fiddling with the hem. She feels some eyes on her and Bucky shuffles nervous beside her, but she ignores it and just stares ta her hands. “So? What did you find out?” Nat’s voice breaks the silence. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We didn’t find an informant and nobody saw someone taking photos of Y/N.” Steve sighs. “I didn’t really expect to find anything. Still, this means we have to be extremely careful from now on. Whoever took these…”, he throws the pictures on the table in front of everyone. Y/N glances down at them before looking at Steve, only to find his eyes on her. “He will try again. And maybe he does more than just taking pictures.” Her eyes wander back to the pictures. She picks one up. The one where she's in the grocery store, reaching for a glass of jam. She puts it back down again before asking the question she asked Nat already, the one that won't let go of her. “What happen now?” Everybody is silent. She looks up once more studying the faces of the three men and the rest of the team. No one says something, so she stands up, walking up and down behind the couch. “What should I do now?”

“I don't know.” She stops in her tracks looking back at Steve. Her eyes switch to Tony who shrugs his shoulder to Bucky. The brunette just sits there, not saying anything. Not moving. “Then… I want to go home.” She turns around to leave as a hand grabs her wrist. “Don’t.” She looks back to find Bucky leaning over the backrest, arm stretched out to old onto her. His eyes look a bit cold, worried, angered. She can't really put a feeling to them. “Why?” her voice is silent, but she turns around fully to look at him. He lets go of her slowly, sitting back like he was a moment before he reached for her. “Because”; Tony speaks up. Her eyes wander from the super soldier to the shorter man. “Someone broke into your flat. Everything's kind of messy. Drawers ripped out clothes lying around.” He stops as Steve lays a hand on his shoulder. Y/N’s eyes stare at him before she walks numbly back to her spot on the couch, sinking down until she's sitting next to Bucky again. Her eyes wander unfocused between the pictures, the table the carpet and back. “Where... where do I go now?” She asks without directing it to someone. She feels the others look at each other. “You could stay here. You already have a room here.” Tony speaks up. Her attention directs at him but she shakes her head. “I know that I'm safe here, but it’s not the same. This is my workplace, I won't get it out of my head for a second. And I don’t have my stuff here. It’s just not the same as an actual home for me. Sorry Tony.” The man opens his mouth to say something but closes it again and nods. He exchanges a look with Steve, motioning with his eyes to her. Steve nods short, taking in a deep breath before walking up to her. He takes her hand in his, which were fiddling with her hem again without her noticing. “We have just two options. Neither Bucky nor I will let you go back into your flat where at any second someone can come in and do god knows what.”

“What’s your plan then?”

“There is a facility, a little out of New York. We used to be there often, but since you're cleaning here, we like to be here more often. I mean all of you.” Y/N sees collective nodding behind Steve. “There is a place where we’re safer than in the tower. Bucky and I have an apartment there with tree free rooms. You could come with us and live there. It's not bothering us, we were rather happy about that.” He makes a small pause before taking again. “The second option were a new flat for you. But that would mean you have to move out of New York entirely. You can’t get in touch with your family of your friend.”

“You mean like… like witness protection program.”

“Yes.” He looks her deep in the eyes. “The choice is yours.” Y/N takes in a deep breath she looks around, the others mirroring Steve’s stern face, even if they don’t look as worried or sorry as he does. “And you're sure there is no other choice?” Her eyes meet Tony’s, but he shakes his head. “Not until we found out who’s exactly after you and why.” She nods before looking back at Steve. “I can still call my friends if I join you in that facility?”

“Yes.” Steve nods. “The compound is the safest place I know.” She nods at his words. “When do I need to leave?” Steve leans back a bit, a little shocked and confused. “I... I didn’t think you would agree that easily.”

“You said it would be these two options. I’m not ready to let go of my friend or my remaining family that easily. So, it’s what I do. I live with you. I’m mean I almost o it by now anyway. So, when do I leave?” Bucky turns around as smile on his face. “As soon as you’re ready to.”

 

* * *

 

Y/N places the last box in her new room. The apartment Steve and Bucky live in was bigger than everything she ever had seen someone live in. She looks around and walks to the window. It’s not like the one she had in the tower, instead it’s like a normal window which makes her feel more like a normal person in a normal home. She has an attached bathroom to her room, which is even better. A knock on the door lets her turn around. Steve stands there a smile on his lips. “DO you have everything you need?”

“Yeah… I guess. Might take a while to store everything, but yeah. Thanks for helping.” Steve waves her off, still smiling. “If you want your drawers or your bed on another place just say so.”

“No. It's fine. I like it like this.”

“Okay.” Steve turns around to leave but Y/N calls after him. “Steve!”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. I mean it. I’m not really part of your big family here. I’m more of a stranger than a friend and you help me. It means a lot.”

“You’re wrong, Y/N. You’re a part of this family. That’s why we’re helping.”

“And because its more or less our fault you get dragged into this.” Bucky appears behind Steve, laying a hand on the blondes’ shoulder. “So, get comfortable and pack out what you can. We want to eat dinner with you.” He smiles for a second before leaving. Y/N's mouth gapes for a second before she looks at Steve and lays her head to the side. “Was that a smile? I mean an 'I-actually-mean-it-because-I-like-you' smile? It even reached his eyes.”

“Yep, scary don’t you think?”

“No. Not at all. I like it. He should do it more often. It suits him.” She stops and before glaring at Steve. “If I ever hear you told him that I said something like that I’m going to deny it and rip your head off.” Steve lifts his hand in surrender. “Nothing will get over my lips.”

“Good.” She smiles at him. Their eyes meet for a moment before Steve clears his throat. “I eh... I just leave you to...” He motions to her and then at his back to where Bucky just left. “Bucky needs me probably so...” He leaves his sentence unfinished and turns around. Y/N stares at the point where he stood before she starts laughing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets serious now. Be prepared.

Everything is unfamiliar and to get settled will take Y/N a lot of time. She had stuffed all her clothes into her closet yesterday and was too tired to do anything else, so she went to bed early, after Steve had set it up properly. This morning Bucky had made breakfast for her, which was surprisingly good. “Y/N?” She looks up from her last box of things she had to pack away to find Steve in her doorway. “Hey. What’s up?” She smiles up at him as she slowly shuffles out of her crouch to sit fully on the ground, stretching her legs out. Steve looks at her for a moment, a dreamy expression on his face before he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. His face switches into one filled with quilt. He shuffles a bit uncomfortable in the doorway until Y/N raises an eyebrow at him and motions for him to come in and sit with her. She watches as he sits down in front of her, peeking into the box with her albums and CD’s before looking at her. “What is it Steve?”

“I have bad news.” He’s silent for a second before he sighs. “I hate this.”

“What is it? You’re scaring me a bit.” She rubs her hands against each other. “Sorry.” Steve rubs the back of his head before his eyes lock on her. “We have to leave.” Y/N opens her mouth to say something but closes it again. She studies his face for a second before speaking up. “With we you mean... you and Bucky, don’t you?” Steve nods. “Tony told us something about a Hydra base establishing not far away from New York. If that are the same people who are responsible for breaking into your old apartment then we have to get rid of it more quickly than if they’re not. Not that we want you to leave of course.” He waves his hands as he sees Y/N’s face fall. “I didn’t mean it like that. But they know of you and if they are nearby there is no possibility for you to be safe if you leave the compound.” She nods and looks down at her hands, legs crossing again. A shadow appears in the doorway, and she sees Bucky come up to them. She hears him huff out a breath as he falls down to sit next to Steve. She even things that she sees him kiss Steve on the cheek for a moment. She nods again before looking directly at Steve. “How long?” As she gets no answer from him, she looks at Bucky. He shrugs under her gaze. “A couple of days probably.”

“It’s just that I don- We don’t like to leave you alone while you’re still new to all of this.” He corrects himself as Bucky nudges him and motions through the room. “A week.” Both pairs of eyes settle on her. “What?” Steve cocks his head to the side while Bucky just stares confused at her. “I give you a week.” Bucky and Steve stare at each other before Steve starts to speak but shuts up immediately as Y/N goes on further. “After that I would appreciate it if at least one of you comes back, so that I don’t have to learn everything by myself. Besides what am I doing with all the cooked things I make if nobody is here to eat it, so that we don’t have leftovers for the next day when I’m too tired to cook and two whiny men sit in the living room?” Bucky nods and let out a laugh. He takes her hand in his flesh one and squeezes it lightly. “Sure thing. A week. But I want apple pie when we get back. Got it, doll?” They both blush a bit at that word but neither of them says anything.

 

* * *

 

A week and a half later Y/N stands on the landing platform, waiting for the jet and her best friends to arrive. They couldn’t keep their promise to come back after a week but at this moment she doesn’t care. Nervous marching up and down, she mutters to herself. The familiar sound reaches her ears and she looks up. The black plane comes in eyesight and a smile spreads over her face. “Finally.” She frowns a bit as the back of the jet opens but nobody comes jumping out like they normally do. A bit of a worry starts to climb in her gut. As the plane lands she makes slowly steps to it. First, she sees Nat and Tony, then Sam and Steve. She’s about to call out for them, but then she sees their hurried steps and worried expression. Doors fly open behind her, letting her twitch back. She turns around and watches as a handful of medics run up to the jet. Seconds later they run back inside, Steve hurrying behind them, not noticing her, but with a small glimpse on the stretcher makes her know why. Bucky lies on it, pale, covered in blood and obviously not conscious. Probably for his best.

A hand touches her shoulder and she twitches again. “Sorry.” She tuns around to see Nat standing beside her. “Nat…” Her voice is a bit hoarse, but that’s nothing she worries about. “What-?” She can’t ask more. The words get stuck in her throat. She clears her throat and tries again. “What happened? Is he okay?” Nat eyes her for a second. She lays her arm around Y/N’s shoulders and motions for her to leave the platform to go into the building. “It probably would be better if you ask Steve about it, but if I remember how he was in the jet it could make it worse for him.” Y/N’s eyes dart to Nat, a bit confused but suddenly even more concerned and fly back to the door Steve vanished a few seconds earlier. “There were more agents than we had thought of. Bucky was with Sam on one of the top floors of the building. Sam got thrown out of the window. He’s okay, don’t worry. But that left Bucky with more than eight agents. They managed to get near him and trap him. One stabbed him in his right side, another one dislocated his shoulder. Somehow, he got shot in his leg, too. He fought through it but collapsed as soon as Steve and I managed to come up to him.” Y/N inhales sharply, staring in front of her the whole time. “I know he’s one of your best friends and since you’re with us he’s more a friend to every one of us that he ever was. We’re all worried.” Y/N nods slowly before her gaze meets Natasha’s. “And Steve?” Natasha sighs, taking her arm from Y/N’s shoulder before wringing her hands together. “I need to ask you for a favor.”

“A favor?” Y/N looks at her face as the red head stops her and turns her around so that they stand face to face. “Steve’s really worried. I didn’t saw him like this since he got Bucky back and Peggy died. He didn’t spoke, he didn’t move I almost swore he didn’t breathe at all since we were in the plane. What’s worse is that he’s thinking, which usually lead to blaming himself. And he’s definitely not at fault here. I want you to stay with him. Cheer him up. Get his thoughts to stop. If you can’t do that, then please, at least keep him company.”

“Why me?”

“Because we all know you’re close to him and Bucky. And they both like you. You’re the best choice. You’re living with them and can make sure Steve gets some sleep and takes care of himself as long as Bucky is out.” Y/N nods. It’s true that she’s really close to them but that is to be expected if she reminds herself that she’s living with them. “Okay.” She nods again and before she even remembers the way she finds herself shoved into the med bay. It takes her just one look around before she sees the blonde. Steve sits hunched over on a bench, head in his hands. Slowly she steps up to him. She calls out for him to not startle him. “Steve?” The man looks up briefly before sinking back in his previous position. Just a small “Y/N” leaves his lips. For a moment she thinks about what to do now, but then she throws her thoughts aside and does what her instinct tells her. She walks up closer to him and kneels down in front of him. Her hands softly shove his away before she covers his cheeks with hers. “I’m sorry.” She means it for Bucky getting hurt, for them going out fighting to keep her protected and for her to probably annoy him right now. His eyes are red rimmed but Y/N pays them no mind. Her thumb strokes small circles on his cheek while she makes sure he’s not in shock or something else. Steve closes his eyes at the motion, a watery and defeated sigh leaves his lips. She straightens up a bit and guides his face in her shoulder. One hand resting on his back, the other on the back on his head. “I’m sorry.” She repeats it again. Just for herself but she knows he’s listening. “Don’t be.”

“But I am.” She draws circles on his back and slowly combing her fingers through his hair. She feels her shoulder slowly getting wet as his arms circle around her, and he hugs her back. “He’ll be alright.” Steve nods so she does it, too. They sit like this for a while. They change back to sit on the bench, then again for Steve to lean against a wall while Y/N still sits and so on. They settle back on the bench, Y/N holding a nervous shivering Steve in her arms again as a door flies open. “Captain Rogers.” A man stands in front of them. Y/N shuffles back, standing beside Steve who stands up. She wants to take a step back, give them the space to talk but a clammy hand takes hers. She doesn’t need to look down to know that Steve is nervous about what might come. She studies his face for a second before tightening her grip on his hand as silent support. “Sergeant Barnes is coming out of surgery now. We stitched the stab wound and cleaned up the bullet wounds. The arm is back in its place but all of these injuries will take its time to heal. Even with the serum. He should stay out of fights for at least a week. No training either. We think he makes a full recovery.” Y/N lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She hears Steve doing the same and feels him relax. “Thank you. Can I... see him?”

“Of course. It may take him a while to wake up, though. Please follow me.” The man motions for him to follow him and as Steve takes the first step Y/N lets go of his hand. Steve turns around and frowns at her. “You’re not coming?”

“No. He’s your boyfriend. I don’t want to disturb you two.”

“You’re not. Actually, we would…” Y/N raises an eyebrow as Steve suddenly stops speaking. The older man shakes his head before gently smiling at her, an innocent expression on his face. “You sure? I’m sure he would be happy to see you, too.”

“I’m sure. Go on.” She smiles at him and takes another step back. “Can you wait for me? Please?” He shows his puppy eyes but that’s not the reason why Y/N nods. It’s his voice. He sounds small, younger and broken. Like he would fall apart if he has to be alone for more than a few minutes. “I’ll wait.” She assures him with a nod as he turns around to follow the doctor through the door he came from.

 

 

It’s almost an hour later when Steve comes back to the waiting area. His eyes are redder than before and Y/N can clearly see red stripes on his cheeks where the tears must have rolled down. She stands up from her chair and waits for Steve to look at her. “You waited.” He says it as if he didn’t believe in her words earlier. “Of course, I did. I said it, didn’t I?” Steve nods and eyes her before he nods. “Thank you.”

“Okay. Now that you’re back, I have something for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah, well originally, I planned it for you and Bucky but now it seems you need it urgently, so I plan something else for you two. Come on, follow me.”

“Wait. What do you have planned?”

“I’m not telling.” She drags Steve through the halls to the elevator back to their shared apartment. The whole time Steve tries to find out what she had planned, but she keeps it her secret. Secretly she hopes that this little game takes his mind on other thoughts than his injured boyfriend down in the med bay. She shoves him forward until they stop in front of Steve’s bathroom door. “What are we doing here?”

“Strip down, get in and let yourself be surprised.” She looks at Steve proudly, but then she notices what she just said and sees his face getting red. “Oh my god. I’m sorry.” She slaps her hands on her mouth, getting red herself. “I-I didn’t mean… get in there, and... do... whatever you want.” She quickly opens the door and pushes the man inside before slamming it shut again. She lets out a breath before slamming one hand against her forehead. “You’re so stupid.” While Steve soaks in the hot bath she had made earlier she starts to prepare dinner for them. She had planned on doing Bucky’s favorite food she learned he loved if she makes it. But now she decides against it and just makes some spaghetti. She had baked apple pie earlier so that would do for today. Steve always begged for her apple pie if she didn’t make it in a long time. And Bucky had asked for it for their return, anyway. The moment Steve steps into the kitchen, sweatpants and no shirt on, a towel slung around his neck Y/N places the plates on the table. She turns around and gives him a gentle smile as he dries his hair with an edge of the towel. She feels her face get hot at the sight and quickly looks away to not stare at her friend. “What did you make? It smells good.”

“Spaghetti with my secret homemade sauce. And something special for later.” Steve raises both eyebrows, a smile on his face. He sits down and they start to eat. Y/n is sure she hears him moan for a second.

After Y/N had started the dishwasher and packed the remaining food in the fridge she shuffles into the living room. Steve had retired to bed early, claiming he’s exhausted. She didn’t really mind. It often happens that both or one of them retires early after missions. Yes, she’s a bit concerned about Steve and about Bucky, but she knows everything will be alright. Bucky can leave the med bay by tomorrow evening and Steve would be happy to have him around again. She picks out a book from one of the shelves Steve and Bucky had filled with new and old books and sits on the sofa. Soon she’s a bit lost in the story as footsteps come near her. She points at the sentence she stops at and looks up to find Steve nervously stepping from foot to foot next to the sofa. They stare at each other before Steve rubs his neck and looks at his naked feet. “You’re alright?” Y/N eyes him a bit closer. Steve looks kind of pale even if a little blush crosses his cheeks. “I…eh. I can’t sleep. You know that Bucky normally sleeps in there with me, so…”

“I see. You’re lonely.”

“Kind of, yes.”

“You can join me.” She pats at the space beside her, but Steve shakes his head no. “Actually, I wanted to ask you to join me. If it's okay for you, of course.” He peeks up a bit to look at her through his eyelashes. Puppy look, again. Y/N thinks for a moment. It’s a bit of a special ask, but she knows that if he doesn’t sleep, he just worries the whole night. “I can rub your shoulders and read to you until you fall back asleep. Would that help?” She holds up the book she was reading, so that Steve can look at it. “That would be great. Thank you.” She smiles at him as she stands up. “Lead the way, big boy.” She grins at him as a small smile spreads over his lips.

Waiting for him to get comfortable, she sits down beside him on the mattress and places the book on the nightstand. For a while she rubs his shoulders while he lies on his stomach. She can feel the tension in his body. “Steve.” She knows that she sounds sad, but she can’t other than that. “It's okay.” She stops massaging him and crouches on the ground in front of his face. New tears stream out of his eyes. She lays a hand on his cheek. “Come on, big boy. Bucky is going to be alright. You know that do you?” She waits for him to nod. “What will he say if he finds out that you’re blaming yourself for something everybody knows you’re not to blame for?”

“But I am. I’m the leader. I had to-”

“You had to rescue him. And from what I heard you did. So, no blaming Steve. You did what you could and you saved him. Bucky had worse injuries. He gets through this quickly. Probably with a bit of whining and acting like a child.” That makes Steve’s lips twitch up a bit. “See? Now scoot over and let a woman have some space.” The captain does and Y/N gets comfortable beside him, picks up the book and opens it. “Back from the start or should I start where I stopped earlier?”

“Which book is it?”

“The Hunger Games.” She shows him the cover once more. “If you would start at the beginning, it would be good. Bucky was the only one who read it.”

“Okay. Close your eyes.” She places the covers over his body before she starts reading and while doing so, she combs softly through his hair until she hears his breathing even out. Still, she reads another few chapters until she falls asleep herself.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t be serious. You just recovered. Stay home. Keep Y/N company.”

“And risk that you get hurt? Steve I’m not dying. I can fight. And someone has to look for your ass to be safe.”

“But you have injuries that aren’t fully healed. Stay home! And it wasn’t my ass that got hurt last time.” Steve clenches his Hand to fists. “I don’t want you running around, claiming to be a hero and risking worsening your injuries.”

“Who’s claiming to be a hero? You know as good as I that I’m not a god-damn hero. I’m a monster. I did things no hero would do. It would be better if-“

“Don’t you dare to end this sentence! Don’t you dare!”

“STOP IT!” Y/N shouts. Both men twitch and turn to look at her, freezing in their spots. “Stop it, both of you.” She shakes her head and stands up from her spot on the armchair where she watched them fight for the last ten minutes with a tired sigh. “I understand both of you and at the same time I think you’re both idiots. I’m going to decide what you do now, because you two obviously can’t.” The men gaping their mouths, but she holds up her hand and shakes her head so that none of them says anything that lies on their tongues. “You two obviously can’t really stay without each other, so you’re going both. I don’t need a babysitter. Yes, I’ll be lonely but Tony told me he’ll stay this time. So, pack up, both of you and at least try not to fight and call if you have the time. No arguments. And no injures this time.” She glares at Bucky for a second than at Steve. “Y/N, are you’re serious?”

“Yes, I am Steve. Look at him. He’s not as fragile as you make him and I’m pretty sure that you would want to do the same. Stop arguing and pouting. And you stop being so proud.” She slaps Bucky on his shoulder which let him wince a bit. They both stroll back to their personal rooms and get dressed and packed up. Y/N goes to her room, changes into some jeans and a top, putting her hair into a ponytail and leaves again to get the boys to the jet. After several promises on each side they finally take off. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“I think I’M going to take a walk in the park nearby.”

“Alone? Take Happy with you.”

“Nah. I’m fine alone. I don’t plan to make it a long walk anyway. And what are you going to do?” Y/N looks at Tony as they walk back inside. “Make some updates. Be awesome. The usual.”

“Don’t blow up your lab again.”

“That wasn’t me. Dum-E is just too stupid to-”

“Stop blaming the poor bot Tony.” The man huffs a breath before shaking his head. They reach the elevator and Y/N watches the brunette step in and waves at her. “Take care and watch yourself. Don’t hesitate to call if something’s up. And take the phone I made for you, so that I can detect you.” She nods and waves back before she leaves in direction of the park. The walk isn’t very long, barely half an hour. She walks around a little lake, watches the children play and dogs running around and listens to the bees flying around. Suddenly there’s a stab at her left side of her neck. She reaches up but feels nothing. “Probably a mosquito or a bee.” She shrugs it off and walks further down the path. She blinks a bit faster as some white dots dance at the corner of her eyes. She feels a little lightheaded. Again, she reaches up to touch the side of her neck which still stings a bit but feels nothing. Clumsily she takes out the mobile Tony had given her and dials his number. She stumbles in direction of a near bank. “That’s not normal.” She starts to feel a bit panicked at the sudden issues. Looking around she notices that there is nobody in sight she could ask for help. The phone rings, so she focuses on that alone. Why did I go alone? I should have taken Happy with me.

“Y/N?” Tony’s voice calls to her ear, loud music playing in the background that he seems to turn down as he answers her. “T-Tony… I…” She feels her breath quickens as she makes her way to the bench, as if she ran a marathon.

“Y/N? You’re alright? Where are you?”

“I… In the Park. I feel… I feel strange. Dizzy.”

“Okay. Sit down somewhere. I send someone to pick you up.” She can hear him speak to FRIDAY in a hushed voice. “T-ony, I…” Everything grows fuzzier and speaking gets more complicated. She barely can make out the bench in front of her. Everything is just a mix of colors. “Stab.”

“Stab? Did you got stabbed? Hold on. I’m on it, I send Happy. Wait a sec…” Y/N stumbles and nearly falls. She wheezes for a moment before catching herself. “Y/N?”

“Help…” She doesn’t mange more as she collapses. The phone clatters to the ground next to her. She hears Tony call her name frantically. There are black silhouettes. And then just blackness.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers to the rescue

Opening the eyes is more difficult than she remembers it. Everything hurts, she feels dizzy and has the feeling to get sick any moment. She is cold. A shiver runs up her arms and after several tries, she manages to open her eyes. The room is small. No windows, no furniture, just the bed she’s lying on. She tries to sit up but her whole body feels numb. Panic rises in her and she looks around more hastily. My body hurts, I can feel it. So why won’t it move? She’s scared and if she wouldn’t know that something happened to her, then she would scream. Instead, she whispers, just to calm her nerves. “It’s okay. Everything’s fine. Tony knows. He’s coming to get you. You’re alright.” Light lights up the room and hurts her eyes. She presses them close and as she opens them again there’s a face just above hers. “You’re awake. Wonderful. Then we can start.” The guy claps his hands together and two more men come in with a wheelchair. One of them picks her up and sets her down. She tries frantically to get away from him but still her body refuses to move. “You know, we cupped some nerves in your body. You can try as much as you want. You won’t be able to move.” The first man turns around and smiles down to her before he cups her chin in his hands. “Don’t worry. We didn’t really cut them. It’s just a drug. Not very comfortable. But, hey. It's not me.” An ugly grin spreads on his face before the man turns around again and starts to leave. The two others follow him, one of them pushing the wheelchair. “W-why are you doing this?” She knows her voice is shaking and that everybody can see how scared she is, but she doesn’t really care. She wants to go home. To Steve and Bucky. To the Avengers. Anywhere is okay now but not here. “What? We didn’t even get started.” She hears the smile in the husky voice of the first man. “You know. These people, these Avengers”, he spits the name out with disgust. “I hate them. And there are more people who do. People more powerful than me. I’m just a stooge, but I get to do the fun stuff, so it’s fine. And of course, we can’t get to one of them. Its good that the news discovered someone our dear Captain and his friend got quite attached to. You’re living with them, so I assume the others got to like you as well. What a better chance is there to get them pining and mourn than to take something they love and turn it into something they hate?”

“Wah- what do you mean?” The man laughs as they run a corner. “You’re amusing. You really want to know what we’re going to do to you?” He doesn’t turn around or waits for an answer before he continues. “What do your so-called heroes hate? Villains who want to destroy the city or planet. People who use the power they have to control others or use it for their own liking. So, we’re going to do just that. We’re giving you powers. We have to turn your mind for a bit but I think we’re well-trained for that. We got the winter soldier for almost seventy years after all.” A shiver runs down her spine. She doesn’t need to hear more about what they want to do to her. She knows enough about Bucky’s past to fear what’s coming. The brunette never told her himself but Steve did and the others filled some gaps. She finds herself drifting into her own personal mind space as the man carries on his monologue. Suddenly there’s a slap and her cheek burns. “You know it's not nice to ask questions and not to listen to the answer.” Fearful she looks up at him. The man glares at her but soon turns around and walks through a door. The room is filled with light. Some people run around and hushed voices are heard. “Welcome to your new home.” He gestures through the room but Y/N's eyes fix on something in the middle of it. It looks like a stretcher from a hospital, made out of metal but there are more tubes, cables and other things Y/N doesn’t know. The stretcher is cut length in two halves. Some tubes run through the cut, the open side looking to the ceiling with thick but short needles looking up. Y/N is sure that if she lies down, they will bore into her spine. “I see you inspect your new bed for the next few days. I can reassure you, it will really hurt.” Her eyes twitch for a second to him before they get back to the stretcher. Strong arms pick her up and suddenly it hits her. She’s going to get tortured. “No. No! Please, please don’t. PLEASE!”

 

* * *

 

Tony paces around the common room. He worries and tries to think of some solution, something to find Y/N as soon as possible. The doors fly open and several steps stomp in. “Tony! Anything new?” Steve comes up. He’s dirty from the fight earlier and has some cuts in his face. He uses his Cap-voice and the look in his face shows that he’s ready to throw some punches at whoever has her. Tony just shakes his head and looks at everyone for a brief moment. Natasha, Clint, Sam. Bucky and Steve. “Since her call there’s nothing new. She lost it in the park. I can’t pinpoint where she is. FRIDAY lost track of the truck as it left New York.”

“How could This happen? I thought you stayed back to watch over her!” Steve looks back at his boyfriend but doesn’t say anything. “She wanted to go alone. I told Happy to follow her and he did. But he lost her somewhere around the lake.”

“Stark, I swear. If anything-”

“I get it. You’ll rip my ass open. Fine! But I’M blaming myself enough already.”

“Stop it!” Natasha steps between them and glares at Bucky. “We need to find her before something serious happens to her.” Bucky looks at her before he stomps back to lean at a far-off wall. Steve watches him but says nothing. He turns back to Tony again. “Any idea where to find her?” Tony sighs and strokes through his hair. “I thought it back and forth but I can’t come up with anything. FRIDAY searches for empty and abandoned buildings that are possible for Hydra to stay at.”

“This was a trap. This whole base thing was a trap just to get to her somehow.” Sam turns around and punches at the wall before he turns back and looks around. “Why Y/N?”

“She’s not special. I mean she has no powers.” Clint steps away from Bucky who glares at him as Natasha sits down on the backrest of the sofa beside her and starts to talk. “But she’s familiar with all of us, and she’s living here. You don’t need to be an assassin to know that you capture someone dear to your target to get to it.”

“But who do they want?” Steve looks lost at her and she shrugs. “Boss. I got some buildings located.”

“How many?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Too many. Can you exclude some? Search for big buildings with more floors. Cellars. Something like that.” Tony starts pacing once again. “That leaves three buildings.”

“Any indication for humans?”

“In two of them.”

“Shit.” Tony kicks against a chair. “Suit up Tony.” Tony’s head snaps up at Steve’s words. “Two is still better than three. We’re enough people. You, Bucky and I get to one, Nat, Sam and Clint take the other one. Its quicker.” Tony stares for a second, then he nods and presses a button on his watch. A whirring sounds through the room and in mere seconds the pieces of his suit come flying in.

 

* * *

 

“Nat, we reached the building.”

_“We need two more minutes. I don’t see any trucks or people.”_

“Here are many of them.” Steve looks at the trucks which are in front of the building they want to go in. _“Should we come to you?”_

“No. Look around. If you don’t find anything then come to us.” He looks back at Bucky and Tony and nods. The two other men nod back after hearing what Nat had said. “Let’s get her out of here.”

“We have to be quick.” Tony scans the area and curses. “There are a lot of people here.”

“Buck, can you get in unnoticed and snoop around?”

“Sure.” The brunette nods and crouches out of their hide out. Steve observes as his lover runs over the open place. He searches a few windows before he slips though one into the building. Nervously he stares at the spot Bucky just slipped in and shuffled around. A hand lays on his shoulder and he turns around. “We get her. Are you planning on telling her then?”

“We… we haven’t talk about it yet. I don’t plan on waiting to long. I did it once.” Tony nods before standing up. The helmet covers his face as he looks around. “Better get moving, Cap.”

“Try to secure the west and north side of the building. There are the doors that can get dangerous for us.” Steve nods to Tony as the billionaire speeds into the air, then he grabs his shield and runs after Bucky. It takes his just a few second to look at his surroundings. He’s in a storage room. Slowly he opens the door. A few agents lie on the floor, most of them unconscious. He steps over them and runs down the hall, before stumbling right into the fight. Bucky is on the other end of the large room fighting against six agents. Four more notice Steve and come running at him, shooting wildly. Steve throws his shield at one of them which knocks him right into the head. The man falls down motionless. “Buck! Did you find something?”  He twitches and groans as a bullet grazes his right thigh. “Not yet. But she’s here somewhere.” Bucky has some blood in his face, though Steve can’t tell if it’s his own or not. Steve nods before he punches another man in the face and uses him as shield against the other too who violently try to shoot him, instead they hit their colleague. Steve lets the body fall, scoops up his shield and throws it once more. It hits the wall before knocking both men down to the ground. With a quick motion Steve hit the shield into their faces and both are unconscious. _“Cap! There are coming more! Romanov and the other are on their way. They’re here in about ten minutes!”_

“Roger that. Can you block the door?”

_“On it!”_ Bucky glances at Steve as he hits the last enemy to the ground. “There’s no one coming in if the door is blocked.”

“They’ll find a way.” Bucky nods before he looks around. “I’ll go up the two floors. You search here and go down to the cellar.”

“Be careful. We promised no injuries.” Steve flashes Bucky a smile and they share a short kiss before each man runs in their direction to investigate.

It took Bucky only fifteen minutes to search the top floor, but other then folder filled with files and some agents the whole floor is empty. The first floor is trickier than that. More agents are around and every so often he has to fight his way through. At some point Nat joined him. “Where’s Sam and Clint?” Bucky punches the head of and Hydra agent against the wall and lets him slide down to the ground. “Clint went with Steve. Sam’s outside with tony.” Natasha jumps another agent in the chest which made him stumble in two others before she shoots each of them. “Did you find something?”

“No. just files.” They run down the hall searching the rooms. “Fuck!” Bucky curses as they reach the end of the hall. He angrily punches against the wall creating a big hole. “Steve? Steve! Did you find anything?” The comm cracks and grunting and fighting sound are heard before Steve answers. _“More or less. Here’s definitely something.”_ Bucky hears him grunt again as the sound of shoot come through. _“Come down here. We might be quicker. Here are more agents then in the whole ground floor.”_ Bucky nods at the redhead before they rush to the stairs. Thy just managed to reach the end of it as the comm cracks again. _“Tinman, capsicle! I found her. South end of the West hall.”_ Tony’s voice is hectic but concentrated. Bucky wonders how he managed to find her if he’s outside, but he doesn’t ask. He just Runs in the direction Tony told him to go. In mere minutes he pushes the door open and he stops horrified. There on a stretcher she is. Lying almost naked. She’s pale, almost white And Bucky can see that there are needles she’s lying on. In a corner of the room he sees a similar device Hydra used to brainwash him and he prays that they didn’t got to use it on her. He steps closer. Steve’s already holding her hand while Tony stands on a computer. Y/N is attached to several machines. Some showing heartbeat, pulse and hydration. Another one shows a green screen that reads, in big black letters, ‘Injection complete’. “Y/N!”

“Don’t” Bucky’s head snaps up and he glares at Tony. “What?!”

“Don’t pick her up.” Tony stands at a screen, scrolling through files and texts. “Are you crazy!” Steve lays a hand on Bucky’s shoulder while still holding Y/N’s hand. “What’s going on Tony?”

“You see these tubes?” He points at the stretcher but doesn’t wait for an answer. “They have needles which are attached to her spine. If you try to get her down from the stretcher you could hurt her more even get her paralyzed. We have to find the code to dislocate the needles.”

“Then find it!” Bucky looks down again. He eyes a peculiar thick needle which is connected right on her neck. “Don’t yell at me tinman! I’m already looking.” Tony scrolls further through the files as suddenly an alarms screeches through the room. They all look up and their eyes immediately fall on Y/N. “Quick! Tony, find these codes”, Steve screams. Y/N starts to shake and one of the monitors she’s attached to shows her pulse slow down. A red light flashes. “This doesn’t look good. I can’t find them!”

“Fuck this shit.” Bucky stands up steps beside Tony and suddenly, with a quick motion rips out the whole computer. “Are you out of your mind! This could kill her!” Bucky doesn’t look at Tony but looks at Y/N. “She gets a seizure. We have to lay her down!” Tony looks around and spots a few Hydra doctors huddled in a corner, watched by Clint. In a few steps he’s at their sides and drags one of them over to the stretcher and holds a repulsor at his back. “Get these tubes from her! NOW!” In a quick few seconds she’s almost free. “The last one too.”

“I- I can’t. The boss has the Key to it.” Desperate Bucky looks around, then he steps to her, pushes the doctor to the side and rips out the whole tube from the stretcher, still connected to Y/N neck. He talks with Steve through their eyes and both decide to do what they can. Together they lift her carefully from the stretcher and lay her on the ground. It takes her a few minutes before she goes still again. For a second Bucky fears that she stopped breathing altogether but then he sees her chest lift and fall. He lets out a sigh before he takes her hand. He frowns before silently running his thumb over the back of her hand. “She’s so cold.”

“We have to get her out of here. Nat! Gather each information you can get in the next ten minutes. Tony, save everything from the computer you can. Bucky, help me to get her to the jet. Clint, Sam. Help us to cover her.” Each of them nods at Steve’s word and they get to action. This night no one sleeps. They all wait for Bruce to come back and for Dr. Helen Cho to arrive and to save Y/N.

 

* * *

 

The days gone by and turned into weeks and then into a month. Bucky and Steve got down to the med bay visiting Y/N as often as they can and stay as long as possible. Steve sat on is chair holding her hand, reading to her or doing sketches of her or the room. Bucky just sat in his chair staring at Y/N, looking out of the window or talks to her about things that are on his mind. They felt responsible for what happened and even if they blamed tony for letting it happen, they knew he was guilty, too. He was down here almost as often as the two soldiers were. Every time he would stand beside her, stroking through her hair before whispering that he’s sorry and leaves. They stopped being angry at him. Both of them even knew that he wasn’t really at fault because Y/N can be stubborn and if she wants to go out alone, then she goes out alone.

It’s day thirty-three and Steve sits beside Y/N again. Bucky had refused to come today and Steve can understand. It’s a lot for him. Bucky just got back to himself, lost the trigger words and starts building a new life. And now someone he cares about, deeply, is about to… He can’t finish the sentence. He closes his eyes and grips Y/N’s hand a bit tighter. Her hand is warm, small in his. He looks up again and strokes his thumb over the back of her hand. He frowns a bit. Then he presses the button that notifies Bruce and just a few second later he steps in. “Steve?”

“I don’t know if I imagine it, but she feels warm. Really warm.” He lets go of her hand and looks as Bruce frowns himself and steps up on the other side of Y/N’s bed. He takes her hand in his own. Steve watches as his frown deepens. “Are you sure? She feels a bit colder than normal to me.”

“What? No. she definitely was really warm.” He takes her hand again. Still, really warm. Confused about the fact he stands up and touches the other hand. “Oh my… Here. Take her other hand.” Steve steps back from the bed. Bucky and Tony take that moment to enter the room. They stop and look at both men standing beside Y/N. “What’s going on here?” Steve looks up but says nothing. Tony looks between the two men and steps more into the room while Bucky just stares. Steve sees Bucky’s eyes on Bruce as the man takes both of Y/N’s hands in his. A sharp intake of air lets them all look at him. “What?”

“I’m right, am I?”

“Bruce…?” Everyone talks at the same time. Bruce let go of her hands again before he takes the chart on Y/N's end of the bed. He flips over a few pages before he nods. “I need to run some tests.”

“Bruce! What the actual fuck is going on here?” Tony looks angry between Bruce

and Steve and back. “Steve found something interesting which is not normal and could get her condition worse. I want to test some things.”

“And what?” Bruce motions to the chart in his hands. Tony steps closer and throws a look on it before he, too, takes in a sharp breath. “That’s strange and definitely not normal.”

“Buck?” Every eye pair in the room turns to Bucky as Steve says his name. The brunette stands where he was but now, he’s shaking. Steve steps up to him, to lay a hand on his shoulder but Bucky flinches. Suddenly he turns around and runs out of the room. “Bucky!”

“Hey, Tinman!” Steve looks helpless to Tony and Bruce before he darts out of the room as well. It leaves Tony and Bruce alone with Y/N. Both silently agree on doing some tests together and half a day later they stand in Bruce’s lab, both crouched over some papers before Bruce speaks up. “Whatever it was, that was in these tubes, it’s not good. In the files you gave me I could find some formulas. We know already that they experiment on people. But this time it was to create a new winter soldier. Tony. Whatever it was what was in these tubes is giving her powers we don’t know of. I can’t think about them like the one Wanda has. If they managed to brainwash her, its worse than we think.”

“What do you suggest?”

“We should not tell them. I don’t think Bucky can handle that just now. Steve probably will blame himself. She still in the coma. I don’t think that this heat changing is noticeable for her. I could run some more tests to find out what exactly it does but I cannot guarantee for anything.”

“Don’t. Let’s wait for her to wake up. Maybe there it’s nothing. They could still have failed.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff and angst and confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chapter ^^
> 
> Still taking promt even if it takes me a while to write them.  
> I also have a disord for writing now. Feel free to join it. Link is on my Twitter (@Yuulina_vre) :D

“Bucky? Hey, let me in.” Steve stands in front of the soldier’s bedroom. The door is closed and locked, and he waits patiently for an answer from the brunette. But Bucky is silent. No answer, not even a sound. Steve sighs, feeling anxiety creep up in him. He knocks again, this time with a bit more force than intended. He winces at his own impatience. “Bucky, please.” It remains silent and Steve leans his forehead against the wooden door in defeat. His voice is just a silent, sad and defeated, pleading whisper. “Please. Don’t lock me out. Let me help you.” He closes his eyes, stands there for a second longer and just, as he makes up his mind to turn around and sit in the living room, he hears the click of the lock. His eyes fly open again, and he takes half a step back before he carefully lays a hand on the doorknob and opens it. He peeks inside. The room is dark, as dark as a room can be at day. The blackout blinds are drawn and shut out almost all light. A ball of blankets lies on the bed. Steve sees it shivering and shaking. He still can’t hear a sound but that’s not surprising for Bucky. He knows how to be impossible silent, that’s what years with HYDRA trained him. Probably the only good thing if he has to choose. Besides being still alive of course. So, he steps in fully and closes the door despite no one being in their apartment, but he still does it to give Bucky the imagination of a secure surrounding. Carefully he sits down next to Bucky on the mattress and lays a careful hand on what he assumes is his back. “Talk to me.” The bundle shivers again and shuffles a bit, turns around and then the brunettes head pokes out. His eyes are red rimmed and puffy. Steve can feel his heart drop. It’s been a while since he saw Bucky cry and to see it now, after they went through so much, after he went through so much with HYDRA and all, it’s just heartbreaking. “Will… Why…” Bucky shakes his head, unable to form at least one full sentence. Then he reaches out with his metal hand and takes Steve’s in his, squeezing it just a bit too tight but Steve says nothing. Bucky guides the hand close to his chest. Not to plant it on his heart but just to feel its heat and to have an anchor that grounds him a bit. Steve looks down at his boyfriend before he extracts his hand from Bucky’s grip, earning a whimper from him. He shoves Bucky a bit more into the middle of the bed and lies down himself. Quickly, he presses Bucky’s front into his and hides the brunettes face in his chest while he embraces him into his arms. He feels his own silent tears at the brink of falling. “She’ll make it. She’ll wake up. Don’t worry, Buck.” He leans down and plants a kiss to the top of the brunette’s head. “How do you know?”

“Because I saw it once. And this person became something beautiful. He’s back in social life, he talks and shows what he feels. He is shy and adorable and the best this world can give and that, even though he suffered through things no one should live through. HYDRA didn’t manage to destroy him.” He plants a new kiss on the brunette’s hair. “So, I know she can make it, because she’s as strong as you are.” He hears a choked sob from the man in his arms, so he hugs him a bit tighter. “And this is just a medical induced coma, Buck. It’s to help her get better and to get the drugs out of her system without putting her though too much more. She survived until now. She’s safe. No one will let her down now. Never.” He feels Bucky nod and for a brief moment he closes his eyes. He’s not really knowing who he tries to calm down. If it’s really meant for Bucky to calm down his anxiety and give him comfort or if it’s meant for himself to calm his own doubts and give him a bit of peace himself. They lay in silence. Just their breathing fills the room and is the only sound to hear. “How are you doing?” Bucky shrugs before he finally looks up at Steve again. “Not so good. You?” Steve shakes his head. He knows he doesn’t need to say that he’s not feeling great either because Bucky knows the moment he looks into his eyes. “We have to try to be strong. She’ll need us when she wakes up.” Bucky nods again before his eyes seem to cloud a bit and for a frightening second Steve thinks he might switch in Winter Soldier mode or something. A few blinks later he looks Steve into the eyes again. “We… I…” He sighs annoyed at his own lack to find the words to says what he wants to say. Steve gives him an encouraging smile and rubs his back. “I… I think I might …like her?” Steve laughs and Bucky feels his cheeks heat up and for a moment he regrets that he said anything. “I like her too, Buck. I would be surprised if here’s one person that doesn’t.”

“No. What I mean is I… I really like her. Like I like… you.”

“Hm.” Steve hums and looks down at Bucky as the older man bites his bottom lip with a look of uneasiness. He sees how nervous Bucky is but Steve smiles and gives him a long and loving kiss. “You want to say you’re in love?” Bucky nods. Steve thinks if he keeps on biting his lower lip he will bleed soon, so he lays his thumb on Bucky’s bottom lip and extracts it from his teeth. His thumb wanders over it as he whispers. “Don’t worry your handsome head. I like her, too.”

“You’re... You’re not mad? I thought you would be-”

“Of what? Of you liking someone? Never. Besides I like her, too and I never knew how to tell you because I never knew if you would run back into the old habits you had and just came out of and regret being with me. I love her for a while now. I’m relieved that you said you like her.” He smiles again and brushes his hand through Bucky’s hair and over his cheek. Bucky sighs and closes his eyes. He lets the warm and comfort wash over him and feels content and safe for a while. Neither of them says something. They just return to lying there again, silent and comforting the other. But soon Bucky shivers again and presses himself against Steve’s chest again. “What’s wrong?”

“I... I don’t know. It’s all so much. I don’t feel so good, Stevie.”

“It’s okay. I got you.”

“N-no…” Bucky gasps and the shivering intensifies. His grip on Steve turns tighter and gets painful. “Bucky? Buck.” But Bucky doesn’t hear anything. A few hard shivers run over his body, and then he feels something change. Something shifts and he suddenly feels really small. He hears the blood rush through his ears and a slight panic settles in. Cold sweat covers his body. He thinks of a panic attack. But this… This feels different. His breathing quickens a bit, and he presses his eyes close. Steve watches as Bucky shivers, and he tries to get away just a bit to have a better look at him but Bucky’s strong grip just gets tighter again. Small bruises form on his upper arms. His fearful eyes dart through the room, and he calls for Bucky a few times, but he doesn’t seem to hear him. “FRIDAY? FRIDAY get Tony or Bruce, please! Just somebody!” Steve feels frantic and overwhelmed with the whole situation as he watches Bucky gasp and shiver, and then he feels… something. He searches for any sign but sees nothing. “Buck?”

“S-Stevie.” Bucky gasps again and then Steve sees it. The shirt. It was a tight fit as he gave it to Bucky a few days ago but now… Now it’s almost a size too big. The door slams open and both, Tony and Bruce come running in. “Steve! What’s wrong?”

“What’s up with him?” Tony stays in the door and looks at Bucky as Bruce all but runs past Tony to get a better look at the man. “I-I don’t know. He said he doesn’t feel good, and then he started shivering and gasping and now… now he’s getting... smaller?” A sob gets their attention back to Bucky who’s now a lot smaller than before. They can just watch for the next few minutes until it stops. Steve rubs desperately on his back trying to ease him but to no use. They all stare at the man. Or more at the boy. He’s now lying in Steve’s arms, almost drowning in the shirt that’s now definitely too big. “Mommy!” Bucky cries out and tries to push away from Steve before he takes a closer look at him. As his eyes meet the figures of Bruce and Tony. He presses back against Steve and tries to hide in his arms. “Bucky?” Steve looks confused at the child that’s crying and hiding in his arms. He looks back at Tony and Bruce, but they mirror is confusion. The blonde sits up, pulling Bucky with him as the boy whines at the loss of contact. He’s now crying full on and clings to him like a lifeline. As if on instinct he rubs circles on the boys back and makes silent shushing noises at him. He sees how Tony and Bruce share a look before they motion for him to follow them. Carefully he slips out of bed, still trying to calm the boy down. He looks around for a second before his eyes settle on the closet. He walks over quickly and grabs a blanket from one of the bottom shelves. Carefully he drapes it around Bucky and follows his two teammates down to Bruce’s lab. Steve tries to set Bucky down on one of Bruce’s tables but Bucky clings to him. He starts screaming in fear as soon as Steve loosens his grip or gets more than a few inches away from him. “No. No! Mommy! Where’s mommy?”

“Shh, Bucky. It’s okay.”

“Mommy…” Bucky whine and a new flood of tears streams down his cheeks. “Hey, Buck. Do you know who I am?” Bucky nods slowly before he hugs Steve on his neck. “Steve.”

“That’s right. Good. And do you know who they are?” He points at Tony and Bruce who whisper silently while watching both of them, discussing possible causes for Bucky’s sudden… dropping. “Buck?” Bucky shares the two brunettes a small glance and both of them smile to him, Tony even waves, and watch him nod shortly before he hides in Steve’s neck again. “Uncle Tony and Uncle Bruce.” His voice is small and silent. “That’s… right.” Steve looks with raised eyebrows at both man and Tony gapes. “Uncle? I hope I’m at least the cool uncle.” Bruce smiles shortly at him before he takes out a stethoscope and walks up to Steve. “Hey Bucky, can I look at you for a moment?”

“Nooo.” Bucky whines and new tears stream down his cheeks. “Come on, buddy.” Steve sits down on the table himself and, somehow, manages to turn Bucky around so that he faces Tony and Bruce. “Noo. Steve, no.” Bucky whines again. He tries to wriggle himself back to hide in Steve’s chest and starts kicking with his legs. “It’s over in a moment, okay.” Steve leans in and kisses the back of Bucky’s hand he has in his grip so that he doesn’t start punching with his metal hand. Then he takes his other hand in his as well and draws reassuring circles in his skin. Bruce makes quick work of hearing Bucky’s breathing, chest and heartbeat. He takes a quick look into Bucky’s eyes and makes even quicker work of drawing some tubes of blood from the now screaming boy. Soon it’s over and, from wherever, Tony comes to Bucky and passes him a lollipop which the boy puts in his mouth eagerly before turning and hugging Steve again. The three share a look and Bruce tells them he goes through some tests and let them know if he finds something. Until then, they have to keep a close eye on the boy. Back in the hall Steve and Tony walk side by side back up to their apartment. Tony eyes the boy suspiciously. Bucky shies away from his gaze and returns to hug Steve tighter, sucking on his lollipop while a few knew sobs escaping him. “Tony, stop glaring at him. He just calmed down.”

“I’m not glaring. I’m trying to figure out why his arms is still fitting him. It’s as small as he is.” Steve looks down briefly before he looks back at Tony and shrugs. “Then please, do it without staring at him like that.”

 

A few hours later Steve walks down the hall with Bucky on his hand. The boys’ eyes are still red rimmed after crying again because his mommy wasn’t there for lunch. Steve makes his way into the common room, surprised to find Tony and Nat in there. “Oh, there he is. Capsicle and his mini soldier.” Steve rolls his eyes and notes that Bucky presses closer to his legs. He squeezes the boys hand reassuring before he walks past Tony to sit down next to Nat. He pulls Bucky on his lap and watches as Bucky hides in the crook of his neck but peeks up now and then to look at Natasha who smiles to him every time. “Oh, here kiddo, I got something for you.” Tony comes up to them and presses a small, red car into Bucky’s hands. The boy let go of Steve’s neck and looks at the toy with wide eyes. Steve thinks it’s probably the first time that he gets a toy just for him. Even back in the 40s he had to share with his sister. The first smile this day makes its way on his face before he whispers a silent ‘thank you’. He slips down from Steve’s lap and sits down on the ground. He looks at Steve for a second, making sure he is within reach and waits for Steve to nod before he sits down and lets the car roll over the floor. A giggle escapes him, and he’s quick to snatch the car back and does it once more. And then one more time, and again and again. Steve eyes him a moment and smiles. Tony flops down beside him and claps his shoulder. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine. It’s a bit awkward to deal with… this.” Steve motions to Bucky but shrugs. “Can’t help it though. He’s almost like he was back then, at least from what his mother told me. He’s silent and shy around new people. He tries not to be a bother and to behave. He makes it easy to watch him. But he can’t keep sleeping in his bed if he stays like this for much longer. It’s too big.”

“You do have two empty rooms, right?”

“Y-yeah. Why?” His eyes meet Tony’s but the genius looks straight forward. His face shows that he’s thinking. Steve feels a bit restless now. “Oh no. I know this look.” Natasha groans and Steve looks briefly at her before he turns fully to Tony with a frown. “What do you have in mind?”

“Surprises, Cap, surprises.” Then he stands up and Steve can only watch as the genius leaves the common room. “What just happened?” Steve turns to Nat. “You just gave him the go on to either ruin your apartment or do something that might be useful.”

“I don’t know if I like that.” Steve looks back to the door Tony just left the room through.

 

* * *

 

Two days later Steve stands in his Apartment, a totally pleased Tony next to him. “What do you say?”

“This… This is… I mean wow. Wow.” Steve gapes at the room Tony had set up for Bucky. Its painted in a light yellow and has everything a kid need for a good night sleep, even if it’s still too big for just one boy. Tony had set up a bed for Bucky that has actually the size of a kids’ bed. Good enough for the four-year-old how Bruce had found out. Bruce had also said that Bucky seems to be alright. He said that this ‘dropping’ how he called it, probably will hold on until the stress he felt vanishes. In his opinion it’s a protection mechanism from the serum. So, its fine. Steve was relieved. At least one riddle was solved that day, even after Bruce warned that there is a high possibility that this might happen to Steve, too, since he uses to run on the serum, too.

Steve’s gaze switches up to the ceiling. Little glowing stars are scattered on the ceiling right over the bed. Steve thinks that they even have the constellations how they really are and is a little impressed that Tony got so far to do this. There are some shelves with books and stuff on it on the walls, the carpet is a nice, fluffy one and even the bathroom attached to the room is now kids proofed. Still, Steve figures that Bucky will just stay here just for a few nights. The boy had enjoyed sleeping with Steve in his big bed the last nights, so it’s probably a bit difficult to get him to sleep in his own, for his size comfortable, bed now. Tony walks over to a bookshelf in a corner filled with fairy tales and other books kids’ like. “I put some form back of your time in here too. Didn’t know if he remembers them.”

“Thank you, Tony. That means a lot to me.” He claps the shorter man on the shoulder and squeezes lightly. Then he wanders down to the shelf and looks at all the book. He picks out a book and smiles at it. “Bucky used to love this book. He wouldn’t even give it to me to look at. But he always read it to me when I was sick. Even after we got too old for stories like this.” A smile drapes across his face and his hand wanders over the cover in a soft and appreciating manner. “You know I got the other room finished as well. Come on I show you.” The brunette motions for him and Bucky to follow him. Steve puts the book back into the shelf and looks down at Bucky. The boy stood at the door with big eyes and opened mouth. He hadn’t stepped in fully, and he hadn’t said a single word until now. “Steve?” The boy comes over and tugs on his sleeve. Steve smiles at Bucky but it fades as soon as he sees Bucky’s frown and watery eyes. “What’s wrong Buddy?” He crouches down, ignoring Tony’s protest and takes Bucky’s hand from his sleeve, holing it in his own. “Where’s mommy? Why isn’t she picking me up? Was I bad?” Now Steve frowns, too and a quick look to his side tells him that Tony mirrors it perfectly. “No. I don’t think your mom is angry at you. You’re a good boy.” He lets a hand wander through the brown locks of the boy in front of him. “Why do you think you’re a bad boy?”

“Be -because… Because I didn’t saw her And, and mommy didn’t choose my clothes or made my bed. Uncle Tony did.” His voice is small, and he looks to the ground with an ashamed expression before he looks back up at Steve with tears running down his cheeks. “Where is she?” Steve is near tears himself. He tries to wipe away the tears from Bucky’s face but new ones come down. “What the name of your mom, Bucky?” Tony glances at him quizzically but Steve shoots him a look that means ‘Please don’t ask. I don’t want to tell him his mother died nearly sixty years ago.’ Bucky frowns at him and for a boy his age his look of ‘pleas, how can you not know?’ looks pretty much like the one Bucky uses as adult sometimes. “Y/N. My mommy is really pretty. And she gives the best hugs.” Bucky smiles a bit before it vanishes again. “Where is she?”

“Oh, Bucky…” Steve sighs and silently he’s glad for Tony placing a hand on his shoulder and crouching down beside him. “Hey, champ. Come over here quick, okay?” Bucky eyes Tony for a second but makes the few steps over to the brunette. Tony scoops him up in one motion. “You know what. Your mom is sick. But your uncle Bruce is a really smart man. Like me. But I’m a bit smarter.” Bucky giggles as Tony poke him in the side and Steve rolls his eyes at his comment. “But your uncle helps mommy to get better. I’m sure she will come and get you when she’s healthy again. Can you wait just a few days more for her? Can you be strong until she comes?” Steve frowns a bit but Bucky nods and actually seems a bit happier at his words. “Can I visit mommy?”

“No, buddy.” Steve chimes in as Tony starts to nod. The brunette stops and looks at Steve. “Not today. Maybe tomorrow, okay?” Bucky sighs sadly but nods before he looks back at Tony. He seems to think for a second but then speaks up. “Uncle Tony?”

“Hm?” Tony hums. “Can we play? With the car?” Bucky points at the car he dropped on the floor and for a second Steve thinks Tony would start laughing and saying that it’s ridiculous but to his surprise he nods and sets Bucky down. “Then come on and follow me. There’s something I want to show you.” Curious about what Tony wants they follow him into the next room. Steve stops and literally stares. The room is painted in a few colors and has a big picture of the avengers on the long wall, in comic style of course. There are sideboard and boxes full of toys, another fluffy carpet and a mattress in one corner, loaded with many, many pillows. “What do you say?” Tony turns around and looks at Steve who just stares. “I think I broke Steve.” Bucky looks back at Steve before he looks at Tony. “Is this for me?”

“Of course. But you have to keep your eyes on the stuff. I can’t promise that Clint won’t come up and snack some of it to ply with himself.” Bucky’s eyes go wide, and he immediately jumps to the cars on the ground and hugs them to himself with a determined face of protection. “Mine!” Tony laughs and shares a last glance at Steve before sitting down beside Bucky himself. Now Steve’s mouth drops open. He didn’t expect Tony to do this. Tony grabs a car form Bucky’s pile and starts to make car noises while Bucky starts laughing. “Nooo. Not like that. A car makes other noises.”

“Really? How do they sound?”

“Like this.” Bucky makes his own noise which, in all honesty, is similar to the one Tony made. Tony shakes his head. “No, I don’t think that’s right.”

“It is!” Bucky exclaims and soon their both making car noises, compete about who does it better. Steve smiles and slowly retreats the room.

He walks through the hall and down to the med bay. How should he explain all this to Y/N? And how should he explain everything to Bucky if Y/N doesn’t wake up soon?

 

* * *

 

Steve sits on the chair beside Y/N, her hand in his. He had left Bucky with Tony hours ago and up until now they either didn’t noticed that he was gone or they are comfortable enough with each other to stay with alone for a while. Steve sighs. He studies Y/N face a last time. She looks relaxed, there isn’t any heat differences anymore. If it wasn’t for the tube in her mouth that keeps her breathing than he would think she was just asleep. A last time he squeezes her hand before he stands up. He leans down to her ear and whispers. “Please wake up, soon. I don’t know how to explain, but we need you here.” Then he presses a kiss to her temple and leaves the room. Thoughts run a bit wild in his head, and he barely registers the halls he walks along. He’s just half-way up to the common room as FRIDAY interrupts his thoughts. “Captain Rogers. Dr. Banner asked for you to come back to the med bay.”

“Is something wrong with Y/N?”

“It seems she regains consciousness again.” His head snaps up to the ceiling and in an instant, he turns around and sprints back through the halls, barely dodging the staff of the med bay until he leaps into Y/N’s room. He stares at her for a second. She’s awake, when a bit pale. Bruce helps her get rid of the tube, and he carefully helps her to sit up again. Time seems to stay still for a second until Y/N’s eyes meet his. And she smiles. In an afterthought it seems ridiculous of him doing this but in that moment, he can’t think of something else. He runs up to her and practically jumps on the bed tackling her into a hug. For a moment she tenses, but then she goes slack, hugs him back while a bubbling laughter escapes her and throws her into a couching fit. “Hello to you, too.” Her voice sounds rough and a bit dry, but she’s okay. She’s okay. “Steve. I need to check her over.” Bruce places a hand on his shoulder, and he nods slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” He leans back and looks Y/N deep in the eyes, placing a hand on her cheek. “It’s good to have you back.” She smiles at him, and he stands up, steps away a few feet to let Bruce check her over. “Okay. Your vitals are normal. Do you feel any different?”

“Not really. My back hurts.” Bruce nods. “I expected that after… Do you remember what happened?” Y/N’s face darkens in an instant. “I do.” She doesn’t say more, even after Bruce waits for a few seconds. Then he nods and take a blood sample to check over again. “Okay. Well I would recommend you stay at least a day longer. Just to make sure. But I think nothing says anything against taking a walk. If you’re up for that. I‘m sure Steve will take care of you while I’ll check this over.” Bruce waves at her and is out of the door before she can say anything. She stares at the door for a second longer before tuning to look at Steve. She smiles again at him. “Do you have some water.”

“Oh, y-yeah sure.” Steve sets himself in motion and grabs a bottle of water from a carriage outside Y/N’s room and passes it to her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“No, I mean. Thank you. For getting me.” He looks at her and nods shortly. He doesn’t know what to say. She drinks eagerly, nearly emptying half the bottle. “Where’s Buck?”

“Ah. Eh... That’s... Actually, I can’t explain that really well.” Y/N raises an eyebrow at him. “How long was I gone, Steve?” The blonde looks up at her. “A-about a month.” Her eyebrows raise again, even higher if possible, but she says nothing. Just nods. Steve watches her again. “Please, stop watching me with so worried eyes. I’m good. I feel grate actually. Even after this… whatever they did. It’s just my back that hurts.”

“And do you… I mean is there… I-”

“Steve, how did this month manage that you’re being awkward to me?”

“A-awkward? I’m not awkward.”

“You are. You never stuttered when you talk to me. I’m good really. So, spit out what you want to, now, and then tell me where my favorite soldier hides and get me to him.” Steve swallows and fiddles with his hands before he sits on the edge of her bed. “Okay. Do you… do you feel different. Like hot or cold?”

“Hot or cold? No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“Because, when you were out, I held your hand and it was really warm but Bruce said your other was almost ice-cold.” Y/N’s eyebrows rise again and Steve feels himself blush. “No. I don’t feel different. What does Bruce say what that was?”

“He doesn’t know. He thinks it might be what HYDRA gave you.”

“Yeah. He told me he wants to hurt you. He said you hate villains and by taking me and giving powers he gets what he wants. One way or the other.”

“He… he intended to either give you a power or kill you?” Y/N hums at him and for a long moment everything is silent. Then she pulls back the covers and throws her legs over the edge of the bed. “What are you doing?” Steve stands up and grabs her hand as she struggles to stand on her legs, her face twisting in discomfort and pain as she straightens her back. “I want to find Bucky. And the others.”

“No, stay here. I’ll get the-”

“Nope. I’m going. You said I was in here for a month. I clearly need some action now. So, will you guide me?” Steve swallows hard but nods. He takes her arms and intervenes it with his to steady her. “You might not like what you see.”

“We’ll see. I’m curious now, though.” Slowly they make their way up to the common floor. They have to take some breaks for Y/N to take her breath as the pain in her back gets a bit worse, but she refuses to be carried. On their way Steve tries to fill her in, in what happened the last month and most important what happened to Bucky. “You’re kidding. Are you joking with me, Steve? Never ever is he a kid.” They stand in front of the common rooms’ door. “I’m not kidding Y/N and if I hadn’t been there I wouldn’t believe it either but it true.”

“So, you’re telling me that Bucky, former winter soldier and physical 28-year-old but secretly over hundred-year-old man and one of my best friends here is now… a kid?” She opens the door to the room and looks around. “MOMMY!” A little brunette head whips to the door and Bucky comes running up to her and leaps at her legs, hugging them tightly. “Yes. That’s what I said.” Shocked, Y/N looks down at the boy at her legs before she looks up to see Nat, Tony, Sam and Clint in the room, all staring at her but with small, relived smiles on their lips. “Mommy.” The boy whines and as she looks down at him as he bounces and pulls on her sweatpants. She sees his watery eyes. Confused at why he called her mommy she carefully crouches down, trying not to show how bad her back hurts and hugs the boy to her chest. “Hello, Bucky.” She looks at Steve. “Mommy?” She mouths, and he just shrugs, looking apologetic that he let slip that detail. “He keeps saying it since he drooped.”

“Dropped?”

“That’s what Bruce and I called it. Good to see you up and back again.” Tony comes up and claps a hand on her shoulder. She smiles back up at him. “So, I have a child now?”

“Seems so.” Nat speaks up and waves at her. “Okay.” She kisses Bucky’s head and as she looks back up, she sees five pairs of shocked eyes on her. “You’re… taking that very easily. I wrote a whole speech to get you to understand and agree to be his mom.” Tony shakes his head hand confused while Steve helps Y/N to stand back up, the clinging boy still in her arms. “Yeah, well. He’s already saying I’m his mom. How should I react. You can’t actually assume that I tell him I’m not his mom and don’t want him to be my son. After what Steve told me he’s already quite a mess. And if this won’t hold on for long, I can manage being a mom for a while.”

“Yeah about that.” Steve speaks up and rubs his neck nervously. “We don’t actually know how long he will stay like this.”

“Oh, okay.” Y/N looks a bit unsure now. A shiver runs down her back as a cold hand places itself on her cheek. She snaps her eyes at the boy in her arms. His blue eyes look at her with concern. “Mommy? Are you better now? Uncle Tony says you’re sick. I don’t want you sick.” A small pout slips on his face and Y/N can’t hold back the laugh that escapes her. She cuddles him ab bit closer and kisses his cheek. “No, sweetie, I’m good now. Was uncle Tony good to you?” She glances at Tony, and he gasps, placing a hand on his heart trying to look offended. Bucky hums and bounces in her arms which let her wince at the pain in her back. “Y/N. Please. Sit down.” Steve motions for a couch and guides her over. She sits down, sighing in relieve at the fading pain. “Mommy, uncle Tony painted a room for me and I have Toys. And, and there are many books and, and I have my own bed!” The boy struggles with his words, coming faster than he can think of it. But Y/N smiles at him. His eyes sparkle with joy, and he keeps on listing all the cool stuff he got. She looks up for a moment and sees Steve talk to the four Avengers as he tries to explain how she feels.

She didn’t lie. She feels fine. And somehow the fact that Bucky is a kid now, and she’s chosen to take care of him doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable. No, she feels content and happy. Because she loves him, and Steve. And she loves the team. Here she is safe. Here she is at home. But the thought of what happened come out of their hidden place back in her head. She shakes her head, trying to clear her head and looks back down to the boy that’s still sitting on her lap and chatters happily while he bounces and laughs.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The discovery of myterious things.

The next week is and up and down for all of them. Tony and Bruce managed to get someone for Y/N so that she can start therapy for her back. More often than not she comes back up from the gym in a foul mood and Steve has his dear trouble to get along with her when she constantly snaps at him.

Bucky comes away with more luck. He gets all the snuggles and forehead kisses that Steve wishes he would get. Still, it’s not the right time to tell her. On the third day of her therapy class, just after she comes back up something happens. She fills a glass with cool water to drink and just as she gets it hot her lips, she burns them. She lets out a loud screech and the glass clashes down. She holds a hand to her lips. Loud and silent naked feet come running over to her. “Y/N?”

“Mommy?”

“Don’t come in! Everywhere is glass.” She motions for the two soldiers to stop and looks at them before she carefully steps around the bigger part of glass to come over to them. “What happened?”

“I just wanted to drink a glass of water. I was pretty sure I turned it on cold but I must have mixed it up and turned it on hut. Burned my lips.”

“Let me see.” Steve reaches up to look at her but Y/N slaps his hand away carefully, her face bright red. “N-no. It’s okay.” Steve’s face turns red as well, and they look at each other a bit awkward until Bucky claps his hands together. “I’m hungry.” Both adults smile down at him, and they walk back to the common room. The mess in their kitchen can get cleaned up later. It happens a few times more that water suddenly is hot when she was sure she had turned it on cold or the other way around. It’s just as she sits in the tub one day and soaks in the warm water to get her aching back to stop. It feels better and if she's honest she's glad for the therapy sessions, even if she promised too Tony to kill the poor woman if she continues to order her around like a soldier. Y/N feels the water get cold by the passing time. She thinks about getting new hot water in and just reaches for the handle to do so as she feels how the water gets hot around her. At first, she thinks she had lost control over her bladder but then the water gets warmer all around her not only in one section. Carefully she stands up and reaches for the glass on her sink. She throws her toothbrush into the sink and fills the glass with water from the tub and looks at it. Its normal water from the water pipes, mixed with a bit soap. She looks at it and thinks about a cool glass and soon the steam on the glass vanishes and her fingers turns cold around the now cool glass. She thinks about heating it up again and the steam slowly comes back, her fingers heating together with the glass until it starts to cook. She drops the glass into the tub and stares for a second at the wall. _What happens here?_

It’s only a little past one pm, and she knows Bucky is still taking the nap she forces him to take for this week, just to make sure everything is alright, and he has all the energy he needs. She slips out of the tub and quickly puts on a change of clothes. Her hair is still wet as she walks past the living room. Steve catches her eyes and stands up as he sees her hurrying steps. “Y/N? Where are you going?”

“I, eh… To Bruce.”

“Is something wrong?” He comes up to her and looks her up and down to see if he can catch any indication that somethings not right. Y/N quickly shakes her head. “No. I’m alright. But Bruce asked me to tell him if my back gets better. So, I just wanted to tell him that I think it's really getting better.” She gives him a smile and curses herself inside her head. She hates it to lie to Steve or Bucky… or to both. Technically it isn’t a lie. Bruce really asked her to tell him if she gets better or worse and her back really feels better than on the day she woke up. At least she manages to get up from the couch on her own. She still can't really carry Bucky around or lift heavy things but up until now she knows it’s just a matter of time. Still, she’s not telling Steve that something is wrong and that gives her a guilty conscience. She claps him on the shoulder. “See you.” Then she rushes out and curses herself out loud. “What the hell was that? A clap on the shoulder, really? Totally normal for you, dumb ass.”

The ride down to Bruce's lab is filled with anxious thought and scared biting on her lower lip. She barely notices as she wanders down the hall and almost walks past Bruce's lab door, if it weren’t for the fact that she walked right into him. “Ops. Y/N?”

“Bruce.”

“Something wrong? You look worried.”

“Actually, I just wanted to come to you. Do you have time? It’s, eh, it’s important.” Bruce eyes her carefully but nods and motions for her to step in his lap. “Sure. I just wanted to get some tea, but that can wait a bit. Come in.” She walks in before Bruce and sits down on one of the chairs in the room. She shuffles around on it nervously and looks around to make sure that there isn’t any lab assistant or someone else. “What's wrong?”

“So, you told me to come to you if I notice any… changes. Right?”

“I did.”

“Yeah well. I was in the tub and, I noticed it before a few times, too, but this was rather strange, and I, eh… You know what. I show you. Do you have a glass of water?”

“A glass of water? I can't really follow you.” Still, the man stands up and grabs the empty mug he had carried just a few second before and fills it with cold water from the sink near the door. “Here you go. And now?”

“You wanted tea, right?”

“Yes? What does that have to do with you?”

“Look.” Y/N looks at the glass in her hands and thinks of hot water and, just as the times before, steam starts to rise and the water in her hand gets hot. Bruce suddenly sits up straight and looks at it as if he can't believe it. “I can do it the other way, too.” She thinks of cold water but this time she imagines it to freeze just the tiniest bit and soon she has a glass of water with mini ice crystals in it in her hand. “That… That is something… I don’t know what it is.” Bruce stares at the glass as Y/N heats it up again. She plucks one of his teabags out of the package on his desk and places into the glass before she passes it to Bruce. “That happened a few times since Monday… And just now in the tub I figured out I can control it. At least I think I can. But that means HYDRA dis something to me and… And they were successful, right?”

“It seems so. We should tell the others.” He stands up and still eyes the glass as Y/N reaches out and places her hand on his shoulder. “NO!” She flinches back a bit before she looks apologetically at him. “Sorry. Please, Bruce. Let's not tell anybody. At least not so soon. I still… I just want to know if it’s dangerous and if it is a thing for forever. Maybe it goes away again.” “I’m sorry Y/N, I really don’t think that it goes away and I really think we should tell-”

“Please, Bruce. Don’t.” She shakes her head and throws a pleading look at him. The thought that one of the others, that Steve would know that something changed in her scares her more that everything else. What will happen if they know? Does she have to go out on the field? Do they still want to be around her? What happens if she can’t control it like she thinks? What if something bad happens because HYDRA manages to control her?

Bruce studies her a moment longer but then sinks back down on his own chair and nods. “Fine. I won’t tell anybody. At least for the time being.”

“Thank you.” She lets out a breath of relief and sinks back down and deeper in her own chair. “Still, I have to tell it Tony. One of them needs to know, and he's the best guess I have to discuss this. He might help.” Unsatisfied she chews on her lower lip and rocks her head back and forth. “Okay, fine. But just Tony. I really… I really don’t want the others to know.”

“I understand. It’s okay Y/N. Nobody really expected something to happen. If I'm honest both Tony and I thought they had failed but that doesn’t mean that it gets worse or something. Just have a close eye on it.” She nods and both fall silent for a while. Y/N watches Bruce as he cautiously sips on the tea she heated up. His face lights up at the taste and Y/N smiles herself. “So, how about your back? Is it better?”

“It is.”

 

* * *

 

The next days they all know that something is up but no one really dares to ask Y/N. She knows that they get suspicious, and she knows she doesn't really do a good job in pretending everything okay. She had tried different liquids with Tony and Bruce and each time the result was the same. Everything that counts as liquid can be heated and cooled by her. It scares her because they found out that the same counts for blood. After that experiment she got really careful around Steve and Bucky. She barely lifts the boy up in her arms when she's tired or upset because she's afraid to hurt him, and she doesn't touch anybody else as well. Bucky is confused by her behavior and she knows it. Each time she declines a cuddle or a kiss the boy looks at her with sad eyes and settles down close to her or goes to earn them from Steve.

“Mommy?”

“Hm?” She looks down at the brunette as she prepares lunch for all three of them. “Do you don’t like me anymore?”

“What?” She looks down at him again after she briefly looked at the sauce in the pot. “Who said that?” Bucky shuffles a bit with his feet and looks at the floor with an ashamed expression. Y/N is confused, so she turns the stove on a low setting and crouches down in front of Bucky. A bit reluctant she grabs his hands in hers. “What's up, Bucky?”

“You don’t cuddle me anymore. I don’t get any kisses from you. Did I do something?”

“No, I still love you. I love so much.” She gives him a kiss on each cheek and on the forehead, making him giggle a bit. “But I have some problems at the moment, so I don’t like cuddling and kissing so much right now. But soon it will get better, okay? And then you get all the snuggles and kisses you want. I promise.”

“Really?” The boys head shoots up and his face lightens up with hope. “Really.” She smiles back at him and hugs him shortly to her chest before she pushes the small boy away again. “So, now get your hands washed and get this lazy man named Steve to come over, okay?” “Yes.” Bucky darts away and Y/N hears him shouting. “Steve! Mommy says you should get your lazy ass up!” She stops and frowns. “I didn’t say that, Bucky!” And then she grumbles to herself. “He spends too many times with the guys.” Seconds later Steve comes in with a giggling Bucky on his arm. He tickles the boy merciless while grumbling something about bad language before he sets him back down on one of the chairs. Just as Y/N places two plate of noodles in front of them FRIDAY’s voice pipes up. “Miss Y/N, Dr. Banner requires you in his lab.”

“I’ll be there shortly. Thank you.” She looks back to Steve with an apologetic smile. Steve is tense and frowns at here. He stands up and takes her hands in his before he pulls her close and into his chest for a hug. “Why are you spending so much time down there? Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Steve.” Her voice is silent and a bit sad just like Steve had been as he spoke. “I promise. Everything is fine. Bruce just runs some test with me. He probably has the results by now. Okay?” She waits for Steve to nod before she smiles at him. “Ok.” She wants to leave but Steve has still a tight grip on her. “You would tell me if something is wrong, right?” Y/N opens her mouth to respond that she would do it, of course she would. But then she stops. That would be the second lie in less than two minutes. “When it’s something serious, then I will tell you.”

“Something serious? Does that mean something is wrong? Y/N, why didn’t you tell me any-” She places a hand on his lips and slices him with it while throwing a look to Bucky who watches them with growing curiosity. “Not here Steve. I promise I tell you when we know what it actually is. But until then you have to wait like everyone else has to ok? I don’t want to worry you all more with something we don’t even know how long it will remain. I’m good. I feel great. I just… I just want to be careful until this is figured out. Can you understand that?” Steve's shoulders lump down, and she sees the still worried and sad look hi his eyes, so she places each of her hands on his cheeks and stands on her tip of her toes and kisses his forehead. “It will be alright.” And with that she makes a quick leave before Steve manages to hold her back a second time.

In a matter of minutes, she’s down in the lab together with Bruce and Tony. Tony stands leaning on one of the tables, his arms crossed in front of him, but he smiles at her as she steps in. Bruce doesn't really register her while he goes over some paper in his hands. Just as Tony clears his throat does he look up. “Bruce, my man. Come on. Your guest has arrived.”

“Oh, Y/N. Sorry, sorry. Come on sit down.” Y/N cocks her head to the side and looks at Tony with a curious gaze. He shrugs his shoulder but comes over to her and places both hands on her shoulder and massages them as she sits down. She sighs a bit as the tension leaver the muscles and closes her eyes a moment. She's a hundred percent sure that Tony wears his satisfied smirk right now. “So? Something new?”

“Yeah.” Bruce looks up and frown at Tony. “Tony, stop distracting her.” And all to soon his hands leave her shoulder. She looks back and sees the smirk she thought of earlier. Her gaze wanders back to Bruce as she hears how he takes the glasses of and continuous talking. “Tony and I analyzed the blood we took from you a few days ago. It's seems that the manipulation starts to die down with each passing day.”

“It… dies? How?”

“Yeah well…”

“Think of it as an infection. Some kind of bacteria. They travel as mini robots with your blood but day after day the energy gets less and less until there is no energy at all. The robots can’t hold on to their life. They have no possibility to recharge so they…” Tony clasps his hand together and makes a splash sound. “So, they die.” She finishes his sentence and looks at Bruce who nods. She chews on the inside of her cheek and processes the news for a moment. “How sure are you two about it?”

“Pretty sure. I mean the test show it clearly.” She nods again. “What do you think how long it will take?”

“A few weeks, probably.”

“But Y/N.” She feels Tony's hands again on her shoulder, and she looks up at him. “I don’t think it’s necessary for you to be so cautious around everyone. They just get suspicious and I think you notices Bucky getting anxious. And our dear Capsicle is close to a breakdown if I watch him in the gym like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“He worries, Y/N.” Bruce comes up to her from behind his desk. “Yeah, he's punching bag after bag. I already have ordered new ones twice this week. And the look in his eyes when he sees you, tells me that he doesn't really believe you when you say your fine.”

“Actually, Y/N. I think we should tell them.”

“No.” Y/N feels herself tense as Bruce says it. “Why? Y/N, honestly. This is not as serious as you think it is. You’re not going to hulk out and you have more control over it as Wanda has over her power some times. Nobody would be angry with you.”

“No, please. I still…” She takes a deep breath before she stands up and paces through the room thinking. “Can we wait just a bit longer? At least till the end of the week?”

“That’s another two days.” Tony looks at her with raised eyebrows and she nods. “I just want to settle my mind. Two days. Yes?”

“Okay.” Bruce shrugs and Tony does too. Y/N smiles at them then. And shameless as Tony is, he lets her heat up his cold coffee again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N sees a dropping first hand.

She has many things to think about. To say that the powers she has bother her is not the full truth. She likes them. It makes things a bit quicker sometimes and the power is useful. She’s just afraid that one day she doesn’t have the full control over it and hurts somebody. That scares her. But what scares her the most is the possibility that she could hurt Bucky. Surly he will pull through if he’s big, but as a child? “Y/N!” The voice rips her out of her thoughts and as she looks up, she sees Wanda run up to her. “You have to come. Quick!”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Steve. Hurry up!”

“What’s wrong with him?” Y/N runs after Wanda but doesn’t get an answer. Thousand and one thing pop in her mind of what could have happened. One worse than the other. Some are quite funny and some… aren’t. They skitter around until they run into the common room. Bucky is in Natasha’s arms. “Steve!” He shouts and cries and desperately tries to get to the blonde. Y/N looks around and sees him. Steve is on his knees, bowed over. “Steve.” Y/N breaths it out as a whisper but Steve hears her. He looks up and his eyes are filled with fear. “Y/N.” He gasps and closes his eyes. She runs over to him and pulls him in her arms. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Steve just shakes his head but doesn’t answers her questions. She looks around frightened. “What happens to him?”

“I think… I think he... drops. Like Bucky.” Clint points at the brunette in Natasha’s arms but looks concerned at the same time. Steve gasps again and grabs Y/N’s hand. Then suddenly he’s smaller. Y/N doesn’t know what to do, so she stares at him and lays her free hand on his back for support. The blonde gets smaller and smaller and soon he’s the size of a small child. A small and skinny child. He looks like the kid from Brooklyn that he was in the 40s. “Steve?” She whispers as the child looks around. He seems to be confused and almost drowns in the clothes that fitted him well just mere second ago. His eyes land on Bucky and they fill with tears and he stands up, shrugs of his clothes and runs up to Natasha who sets the squirming child on her arms down. No one says a word as Bucky hugs the naked and crying blonde in his arms. Y/N sees the brunette whisper something into his ear’s and Steve’s head whips around to her. He chokes on a sob and runs right back over to her and jumps in her arms.

“Mommy!” He cries it out and soon his tears start to seep through her shirt. She’s a bit overwhelmed. Does she have two kids to care for now? And both of them think she’s their mommy? Reluctant, she wraps one arm around Steve and holing the other out for Bucky who still stands on the spot next to Nat and watches her and Steve. The bigger boy runs up to her and hugs her and Steve. It’s a few minutes later that she picks up Steve in her arms and takes Bucky’s hand. They walk over to the nearest couch and cuddle together. Clint picks up Steve’s big clothes and gives his shirt to Y/N. She helps Steve in it and manages to tie it like a makeshift jumpsuit. Steve is quick to settle back against her and just as the doors to the common room open, he falls asleep. Bucky is not far behind, his eyes are closed, too be he just doses.

“No Bruce, seriously. I meant it.”

“Tony, that not possible. There are too many variables we can’t know the end of.”

“But just imagine-“

“Shh! Someone’s asleep. Keep it down.” Both men stop and look at Y/N. The room is filled with silent laughter as Tony sees the small blonde bundle on her lap. His mouth opens and closes and he just stares and points at her. “What?!”

“Uncle Tony! Stevie is sleeping. Shh.” Bucky climbs down from the couch, runs up to him and holds his finger to his lips to get Tony to quiet down. Tony raises his eyebrows and picks the boy up before he stares at Bruce. The scientist just looks at Y/N before he makes his way over and whispers silent questions to her which she nods or shakes her head to. “Uncle Tony!”

“Yes?”

“Why is Steve not big anymore?” Unsure of what to say he looks through the room but is met with puzzled looks and shrugging shoulders. “Ah, well… It’s like with you, you know?”

“Me?” Bucky looks confused at the man. Tony dawns that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and sighs. “Okay. So. You’re actually a hero, just like Steve. You’re a big grown up who fights with us against all the bad guys out there. But you have something in your blood and when you’re stressed then your body gets you to be small. Just like now. And Steve has it, too.”

“But I’m not big. I want to be big.” Bucky pouts and makes Tony smirk. “Oh, I can imagine that. But it seems you’re a bit too stressed so your small. But you can still be a hero, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Tony grins at him. Out of the corners of his eye he sees the others lounge around and watch him with fond smiles. “You know we’re all heroes, right?”

“Yes!” Bucky’s eyes start literal sparkling and he bounces in Tony’s arms. “Good. See, heroes need some help from time to time and I’m sure you’re a big help if we need you. What do you think?”

“Tony!” Y/N glares a bit at him. She really doesn’t want him to take Bucky down in his lab and experiment with some dangerous tools and she really doesn’t want him to get Bucky to develop some dangerous ideas as well. Tony just smiles and winks at her. “You think you can help?”

“Yes. I want to be a hero. What can I do?”

“Before you do anything, we have to eat lunch young man.” Y/N comes up to them with Steve still in her arms. “But mommy…”

“No buts, Bucky.” Bucky throws a pleading look at Tony but he just shrugs. “Sorry Bucky. Your Mom is the only person I can’t fight.”

“Why?” Bucky whispers with wide eyes. “Because she scares me.” Tony whispers back and Bucky gasps before he giggles. “No! Mommy is nice.”

“Really? She looks like she wants to eat me any second.”

“And I will. Get your hands washed you two.”

“See.” Tony shrieks as Y/N slaps him playfully on the arm and runs out of the room with a laughing and squealing Bucky on his arms. Y/N laughs a bit, too. “He’s cute with him. Who would have thought?” Nat says it with a smirk on her face and a glance to Clint. “Oh, no, Nat. Please. Leave him alone.”

“Why? I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but Clint has this sparkle in his eyes that tells me you’re using this for blackmailing him.”

“Fine. But I don’t promise anything.” She smiles at Y/N before she makes her way over to the kitchen isle and helps Wanda to prepare the sandwiches for everybody. Y/N walks back over to Bruce who is still sitting on the couch. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“It seems so. You know I’m not that kind of a doctor. How about you come down with the boys later and I get Helen to look over them with me?”

“Okay, I’ll watch out for that. We’ll come down before bedtime.” She looks down at Steve who sighs in her arms and turns his head to hide in the crook of her neck. “He’s a cute kid. What do you think how old he is?” Bruce looks at him a bit closer before he shrugs. “If I consider his small frame and how he used to look back in his time I would say he’s probably… two and a half? Three? Bucky resembles a kid of four years and the two are just one year apart so he’s probably closer to three years.” Y/N sighs and looks at Steve a bit closer. “He’s so small. Do you think he has all the things he had back then?”

“I think it’s possible that he has asthma. But I can’t tell right away. For all the disease like he had back then I wouldn’t put my hand in the fire. I tell Helen to check it over. See you later, Y/N.” With that he stands up and leaves the room. Y/N looks after him as Tony comes back in with Bucky on his hand who talks excitedly to the genius. Bucky soon let’s go of Tony’s hand and walks over to Nat who sits him down on one of the stools before giving him a sandwich. Tony looks at him for a second before he walks over to Y/N. “So, how is mini Capsicle doing?”

“Fine so far. I think. This dropping seems to be exhausting.”

“Hmm.” Tony hums at that before he starts to think. “He needs clothes and we need a second bed. Oh, and he likes drawing right? Should put something in the room for that. And-”

“Tony.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you. But let’s not overthink it too much, okay? Let’s just buy some pencils and a bed. I’ll go into town with them later and buy some thinks.”

“Y/N, really? I could order anything and would not even need to leave the house. What’s with all these people who probably recognize you any moment?” Y/N frowns for a second before she nods. “Okay. You’re right. But I still take them out tomorrow. They can’t stay in here all the time and Bucky already asked me to go to a playground twice yesterday. And I would like if they can at least decide on some things they want to have. Like… like a plush animal or something.” Before Tony answers a cry lets them look down. Steve’s eyes are open and wide and tears stream down his cheek while silent sobs wreck his small form. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong all of a sudden?” Steve shakes his head vehemently and buries his face back against her shoulder. The crying increases and gets louder. “Stevie? Look at me. Mommy is here.” But he shakes his head and continuous. She looks around helplessly until her eyes meet Bucky’s. The small brunette looks concerned at her and reaches out for her. Tony follows her gaze and picks the brunette up. “Hey, Stevie. Do you want to go to Bucky? Yeah?” The nod is barely noticeable but she sees it. She exchanges a quick glance with Tony before she walks over to him. Bucky immediately stats to pat Steve’s back and the boy looks up at him. Steve’s breath is a bit shallow and Y/N sees his struggle to take in the air. “Tony? I think the asthma point is confirmed. Would you tell Bruce?”

“Sure.”

“Come on, Stevie. Nice, slow and deep breath. I’m here and Bucky is here and we’re not going anywhere.” She continuous to whisper to Steve until he calms down again. Bucky’s hand falls limp to his side as he yawns and Steve copies it. Y/N strokes Steve’s back a bit longer until he goes back to sleep. She glances over to Bucky who’s almost limp in Tony’s arms despite being full of life just minutes ago. “Y/N? We need to talk about taking care of-”

“Don’t say it.” She holds up a hand and silences Tony. “I know what you want to say. You want me to take care of them. And… It’s okay. I mean they already have a room in our apartment and they say I’m they’re mommy. I don’t mind much. But I need your help.” She looks around to study the others in the room. “It’s a bit much from my mid-twenties and no kids to my mid-twenties with suddenly two kids.”

“Yeah sure.” Wanda and Nat nod and even Clint nods with his mouth full. Tony nods too and to they’re surprise he smiles down at Bucky and strokes a gentle hand through his hair. “I’m going to arrange everything for Steve’s bed and stuff. And while I’m at it I’ll get him to sleep. Okay?” He looks at Y/N as if she would argue about it. “Do as you please. But! No experiment, no workshop and no stupid stuff. Understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” Tony smiles and walks out with Bucky asleep on his arms. Y/N’s gaze flickers down to Steve as a gentle hand lays on her shoulder. “Are you sure about that?”

“What?”

“Taking care of them.” Nat points at Steve. “I’m not saying you don’t manage and I think you’re knowing both of them better than we do but… It is a lot.”

“Yeah. I’m not so sure myself if I can manage that but I did take care of my brothers after my parent… died. So, I’ll try. I still have you to help me out. That more than I had back then.”

 

* * *

 

After the boys woke up, Y/N gets them to eat something and walks down to Bruce’s lab. Tony is already in her apartment and set up the bed for Steve and some other thing he brought even after Y/N asked him not to. Both boys are actually very talkative and active in general. They jump and run around while talking. But they never let go of each other’s hand.

Bruce greets them and shows Y/N a makeshift stretcher where she can set the boy’s on. Helen is behind him and smiles kindly at the kids. Y/N feels quickly that the kids are uncomfortable in the room. Not because Bruce or Helen are strange or something but because they know that something is up. Steve lets Bruce check him over without much of a fuss. Y/N thinks it has something to do with the fact that he lived half his life in hospitals back in the 40s and is used to doctors checking him over and poking him with things. A sad feeling crosses her and she feels sorry for her friend. Bucky is a total other chapter. He twitches each time Bruce comes near him and has he has a needle to get some blood he’s suddenly really afraid and angry. He starts crying and kicking and not even Steve can calm him. Helen takes Steve down from the makeshift stretcher so that he won’t fall down while Bucky trashes around and the boy hides behind Y/Ns legs. Y/N looks down at Steve and pats his head. “It’s okay, Steve.”

Somehow, they manage to calm Bucky long enough to get some blood samples from him. Then Y/N helps him out of his shirt so Bruce can look over his shoulder and metal arm. As soon as the Shirt vanishes Bucky starts screaming and trashing again. This time it’s worse than before. Steve whines and clings to Y/N’s leg so she turns to him once again. “It’s okay Stevie. We’re nearly finished and then we go home.” She looks back at Bucky and sees his hand raised to hit at Bruce. She quickly grabs it and holds it in a firm grip. “Bucky, we don’t hit people.”

“No. mommy.”

“Hey, stop that.” Bucky struggles to get free but Y/N still has a firm grip in him. “Tell me what’s wrong, Buck. What is it that makes you so afraid?” Bucky shakes his head and tries to hold the new tears at bay. “Bucky, come on. Tell me. It’s okay.”

“M-my a-arm. Wh-why is it dif’rent.” For a second Y/N stares at Bruce. The arm wasn’t a topic the days before. “You’re scared of your arm? But you were fine yesterday.” Again, Bucky shakes his head. “Boy aren’t scared. Boys don’t cry.”

“No, Bucky. That’s wrong.” Y/n releases his arms, she picks up Steve and sits down next to Bucky. She slings an arm around him and rubs his arm while hugging him to her side. “It’s okay to be afraid. And you can cry. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl. And it doesn’t matter if it’s something big or small you’re scared about. You’re allowed to feel and you’re allowed to show it. Okay?” Bucky nods shakily and accepts a tissue from Bruce. He and Helen retreat to a table at the end of the room to give Y/N and the boys some space. “You want to tell me why you’re arm scares you?”

“I-I don’t know why it looks s-so different.” Bucky still sniffles and Y/N sighs. How do you explain a child that he got tortured seventy years ago? Y/N lets go of his side and sets Steve next to Bucky as she stands up. Then she takes both his hands in hers. “You know. You were an adult. I know uncle Tony told you that, right?” Bucky nods shakily, still sniffling. “Okay.” She smiles at him and at Steve for a moment. “You had an accident and lost your arm. But a nice man named T’Challa gave you a new one. And this arm”, she squeezes his metal hand. “this arm decides to go small when you do. But it doesn’t make you any different, Bucky. IT’s an arm like your other. It’s even a bit stringer. And it looks cooler.” Bucky giggles a bit. “Whatever it is you’re scared of; you don’t need to be because we all love you.” She leans in and give the boy a kiss to his forehead. “We love you.” Steve says and leans in himself but instead of kissing Bucky he bumps his head into Bucky’s hard as he tries to hug him. They let go immediately and clutch their head. “Ow.” Y/N laughs and gives both of a kiss. It’s then that Bruce manages to quickly look at Bucky’s arm. And before they leave each of them gets a package of gummy bears because they were really brave and Y/N allows them to eat it before bed time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nightmare leads to an accident.

Whatever it was that woke her, she is grateful for it. Sweat lets her clothes cling to her skin and her breathing is ragged. She feels dizzy and frightened, but she can’t recall what it was she dreamed about. She stands up on shaking legs and slips out of her room. She takes a peek into the kids’ room and feels her heart speed up once again as she sees the beds empty. It’s a week since Steve dropped small and it became a habit for her to look into the room when she wakes up at night. Running up and looking in both of the rooms for the men she feels more panic add to her already frightened mind. In a blur she’s gasping for air, her lungs burning and pushes the door open to the common room. Her eyes quickly dart through the room. Somewhere in her mind she’s confused why everyone is in the common room in the middle of the night. Then again, it’s not that unusual for all of them to have a sit-in at three in the morning. “Doll?” Her eyes dart back to a spot on the couch and find Bucky’s gray eyes. He stands up slowly and walks over to her. “Y/N? You’re okay? You look shaken.” It takes her some seconds to process that she’s not seeing a kid but an actual grown man. Then a picture flashes through her mind. Bucky with blood all over himself a knife in his hand and her. Under him. His eyes are cold. She never has seen them like this.

A touch startles her, and she reaches out to get the hand off of her shoulder. A chocked scream rings in her ears. She feels the eyes of the others on her, but she doesn’t care. _He should stop! It hurts!_

“Y/N!” Steve springs up, his self again, too and Tony jumps up to follow him. Bucky is on his knees still choking on screams and tears on his cheek. He tries to get Y/N’s hand from his flesh arms but her grip is tight. He feels like he boils from the inside out. “Y/N, let go!”

“What’s happening?”

“Tony? What is she doing?”

“What’s up with Barnes?” Y/N hears all this, but she feels herself slip. Her mind is far away, still captured in the picture in front of her eyes. Bucky. Hurting her. Suddenly hands are on hers. The hand holding the arms gets ripped away and with a gasp the other hand lets go of her again. She looks down slowly, seeing everything like in a fog. Bucky is lying on the floor. He’s really pale. Nat holds him against her chest and helps him breath. Why is he on the floor? Wasn’t he on the couch? Slowly her eyes look around. Steve hold his hand and shakes it a bit but the others. The others stare at her in confusion. Everyone. Except Tony. “Y/N.” He comes up to her and carefully places a hand on her shoulder, prepared to extract it in a matter of a second. Everything clears a bit more, and she looks back down at Bucky. Her eyes widen and she looks at Steve. The blonde kneels down next to Bucky to check him over before his eyes meet hers. He looks confused, kind of hurt, too. “Oh, god. I did it.” She gasps and slaps a hand over her mouth. She takes a few steps back from all the people, letting Tony’s hand slip from her shoulder. “Y/N?” Steve calls her name, but she shakes her head and takes another step back just to hit another person. She looks around and sees Bruce behind her. He smiles kindly at her before he directs his gaze to Steve. “That’s it Y/N. I tell them, okay?” Tears spring in Y/N’s eyes, and she shakes her head but Bruce smiles sadly at her. “It has to be done now. I’m sorry.”

“Bruce. What the hell is going on?” Clint looks at him and many emotions play on his face. She can’t really tell which one she can see, but she knows that they all don’t mean anything good. She takes a few steps back again after, Bruce walks over to Bucky and checks him over. “It’s Y/N’s power.” Tony answers for the scientist. “Y/N’s power?” Steve looks to her and then to Tony, confusion written all over his face. “Yeah, well, HYDRA wasn’t as unsuccessful as we at first thought. It just took some time to… appear.”

“Explain.” Sam leans back against the bar and crosses his arms. His attention is fully directed at Tony. “Y/N came to me saying she manipulated the water in her tub. We made some test and it tuned out that she can actually heat or freeze any liquid she wants to.” Bruce says as he pat Bucky on the shoulder and watches as Steve and Nat lift him up on shaky legs. “That means blood as well, how it seems now.” Everybody raises an eyebrow and their eyes dart to her. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Nat asks and takes a step forward but stops as Bucky sways without her support. “I-I… I thought…”

“She asked us not to because we were pretty sure it will vanish in a few days.” Tony says and shrugs as the others gape at him. “So, you choose not to tell us?” Steve asks in more confusion than even possible. He looks understanding though. Tony just nods and shrugs again.

Y/N feels her breathing get faster again as Steve takes a few long steps to her and stretches out his hand. He looks concerned. A bubble of fear flies up in her gut. Fear of hurting him, too, so she takes a step back again as he comes too close and almost touches her. Steve stops immediately “Y/N?” He sighs and the concern that just showed on his face drops from just the one word that he said. She shakes her head more vehemently and looks in horror as Bucky takes a few shaky steps until he’s right next to Steve and uses him as a walker. She turns around quickly as they come closer to her as fast as her feet can carry her, she’s out of the door. She misses how Steve’s and Bucky’s expressions fall and how they exchange a sad look. Y/N doesn’t run to her room, well knowing, that the boys easily find her there. Instead, she runs out. Out of the common room, out of the living quarters. Out of the compound, over the grass outside, the whole way to the main gate. She’s still in her sleep wear, but she doesn’t care. She just runs and runs and runs until her feet hurt and her lungs burn. The moment she looks around she finds herself far away from the compound, somewhere on the street in the middle of the forest. She gasps for air and lets the tears fall. _I did it. I ruined everything. How am I supposed to go back now?_

She falls down to her knees and sobs. She wants so badly to call her friend but her phone is in her room. The life like she knows it is over for her now. She can’t go back. And she can’t talk about it.

She’s so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t hear the quick footsteps that pound into her direction. Just as they slow down and get louder, she registers them. She looks up and is met with Steve’s worried and Bucky’s pale faces a few feet away from her. She scrambles up, almost stumbles but catches herself and backs away again. New tears burn in her already red eyes. “Please. Don’t run off again.” Steve calls just as she turns around to run once again but this time she doesn’t come far. A hand grabs her shoulder a bit firmly but softer than usual, and she’s pulled against a board chest. A cold hand covers her eyes while the other hand drapes itself around her waist. She sobs as Bucky lays his forehead against the back of her head. “It’s okay, doll. I know you didn’t mean to. I’m fine now. Okay? It’s fine.” She shakes her head against his, carefully, just as another pair of hands lay on her shoulders. “Y/N. It’s okay. You’re fine and so is Buck. We’re not mad. I think everybody understands the fact that you rather take it as a secret then tell us all. And it’s okay.”

They whisper to her for a few more minutes, and she feels herself relax just a bit but the fear still clings to her mind. What she doesn’t registers is that they guide her down to the ground. She just registers it as her back hits a tree. Just then Bucky steps away from her and releases her. But he sits down on one side of her while Steve covers the other side. She shivers but both men press themselves against her and warm her sides. “Y/N? Are you okay? Talk to us.” She looks up from her lap and meets Bucky’s eyes once again. Then she shakes her head. “Y/N, you can tell us.” Steve’s calm voice talks to her as he takes one of her hand in his big ones. She murmurs it in a silent whisper, but she knows that Steve and Bucky can hear her nonetheless. “Nightmare.”

“You want to talk about it?” She shakes her head at Steve and it grows silent for a moment longer. But soon she starts shuffling. Suddenly, light blinds them and a car comes up, followed by a second one, only to stop on the side of the road, not far from them. Tony, Wanda, Nat and Sam step out and slowly approach them. They don’t say anything. Instead, they sit down silently and Sam passes a blanket to Steve who drapes it around Y/N. After a while she shuffles around nervously again. A questing nagging her mind. “What is it. Just let it out, Y/N.” Wanda says softly and smiles at her kindly. For a second, she matches it before she frowns and looks at the boys beside her. “Why… How did you get big again?”

“Ah...” Steve gets red instantly and looks down while Bucky just laughs. “Steve?”

“Don’t worry, doll. He just got teased for running around naked a few minutes before you showed up.” She smiles at Bucky’s words and even giggles for a moment. “Anyway. I woke up and was naked in a small bed and when I looked over Stevie was also very naked in a very small bed. We got dressed and got up to the common room and surprisingly everybody was there as well. Then you came up.” Bucky grins at her and rubs her arms. “I see. And so, you… remember anything?”

“Everything.” Y/N feels herself blush but Steve starts laughing. “Don’t worry. I rather have you changing my diapers than one of them.” He points mostly at Tony and earns himself a glare from the man. “Okay.”

“Ice-cream?” Suddenly a box of chocolate ice-cream flies into her sight and three spoons follow. Y/N looks up and sees Sam holing it out to her. She smiles at him, grateful for the distraction and is quick to dig in. She gives Steve and Bucky a spoon, and they share her box. “Why did you bring ice-cream with you?” Nat frowns at Sam but he shrugs. “Ice-cream always helps.”

“I can’t believe I sit here, at four in the morning in the middle of the forest, to eat ice-cream with you.”

“Then you should start to because it’s what we do, Y/N.” Steve nudges her and shares a smile with her while he shoves a mouthful of ice-cream into his mouth. Y/N fells relaxed. She already has forgotten about the incident from half an hour prior. At least for the moment.

 

* * *

 

“So, how are you feeling?”

“Good. I mean, when I consider what I did this morning I’m pretty good.”

“Y/N, that wasn’t your fault.” Bruce looks up from her arm where he takes some blood samples and frowns at her expression. “You weren’t yourself and Bucky doesn’t judge you. He’s fine, Helen checked him over.” Y/N nods and looks down at her hands. “I still could have killed him. Bruce, to be honest, I don’t know if I want this power. Yes, you said it will be gone in a few days and yes, it is useful as long as I have it but… The damage I can do is intense. I don’t want that. I’m just glad that everybody dropped the fact that fast and no one brought it back up since then.”

“Y/N.” Bruce takes her hand after he draws out the needle from her arm. “Everything is fine. We’re all friends and we will stay friends. No matter if someone will get powers or just has a tough time. And, I don’t feel like I should have to tell you that, because I’m sure you already know that.” Y/N nods and smiles shyly at the scientist. “Okay. So. I will look at this and you tell me when you feel any changes. Until then go out and do some things that distract you. Go to town or something. And take Steve and Bucky with you. I don’t like it when they eavesdrop me.” He walks over to the door and rips it open, revealing Steve and Bucky with red faces. Y/N laughs and hops down from Bruce table. She shakes her head at the two soldiers and waves her goodbye to Bruce as she drags the men with her to the garage. Maybe a day at town isn’t that bad of an idea.


	12. Chapter 12

About a week later she knows it’s done. Her powers are gone. To be honest she’s a bit sad. She got used to secretly heating things up or cooling down Tony’s coffee out of fun. But now she has her ‘normal’ life back. She wanders down the hall, deep in her own thoughts as suddenly a hand lands on her shoulder. She shrieks, nearly jumps up and jerks away. Her back hits the wall beside her, and she places a hand over her heart in shock. “Jesus. Bucky!”

“Sorry. I called you a few times. You’re okay?”

“Yeah.” She lets out a heavy breath and nods. “Yeah. Just in thoughts.”

“Care to share?”

“No, thank you. I’m good. What do you want?” She looks up at him as they walk together to the common room. “Nothing. Just saw you walking by.”

“And you scare me for nothing?”

“Hey! It’s not my fault that you’re building your own world around you lately.” Y/N nods and mutters something. She knows exactly that she’s drawing away from everybody. That will make the goodbye a bit easier. Now that everything settled down, and she doesn’t have her powers anymore there’s no reason to stay. HYDRA hasn’t shown any more interest in her and even the news haven’t brought her up since Tony talked to the press. And the others see it like that, too. At least she thinks they do. Neither of them brought it up exactly but the feeling was there. She thought they drop hints by saying things like ‘back in your home’, ‘when you live alone’ or ‘when you live in town again’. That has to mean that they want her to leave, doesn’t it?

She shakes her head to get the dark thought of living alone again out of her head and smiles up at Bucky as they reach the common room. They step in together and are greeted with the sight of their life. Steve is running around and Sam chases him while shouting out to kill him if he eats all his pop tarts. Nat and Clint are playing Mario cart and yell at each other. Again. Tony just sits at the kitchen counter with an annoyed expression, coffee in one hand. Wanda and Vision talk quietly in a corner at one of the large windows while Bruce makes himself a sandwich beside Tony. “What the hell?” Bucky looks around and Y/N sees that he wears the same expression of confusion like she probably does. “Guys? Hello!” Bucky calls but is ignored by everybody. “Guys!” Y/N shouts, too but gets the same reaction. “If all the kids don’t sit down and shut their mouths then there will be no pie at lunch!” She shouts again and this time a bit louder. To her satisfaction she’s heard by Steve, Sam, Clint and Nat. Steve and Sam quickly jump on the couch and look as innocent as they can be while Clint just shuts off the game and looks at Y/N with a bored expression. Y/N can hear Tony sigh and mutter a ‘Fucking thank you’: She turns to Bucky with a smile. “Well, there you go.” Bucky scoffs and shakes his head before he walks over to the couch where Steve and Sam are sitting. He hits Steve at the back of his head and glares at Sam before he squeezes himself between the two, so that they have to scoot and make place for him, poking his butt in Sam’s face at this chance. “I heard pie?” Nat looks up from the floor and smiles at her. “Only if you behave. Seriously, you all want to be adults?”

“Hmm.”

“Well, yeah.” They all mutter and hum, nodding their heads or shrugging their shoulders. Y/N rolls her eyes and shakes her head before she walks over to Tony. He jumps down from the counter and makes room for her to get to the kettle. “How are things doing?”

“Good. I think it’s over though.”

“No more frozen coffee?”

“Nope.”

“Finally.” He sighs and earns himself a raised eyebrow from Y/N. “Come on. It was seriously annoying.”

“I had fun.”

“Me, too.” Steve calls form the couch. “Shut up, spangles.”

“I’m sad though. I got used to it by now. I was still afraid to hurt someone but things didn’t take as much time as they normally do.” Bruce nods in understanding and bites into his sandwich. “You know, we can work on getting them back.”

“What?”

“Yeah. We could modify it and help you train and-”

“Let me stop you right there, Tony. Are you suggesting to pump another drug through my system just to give me the powers back so that I can make my tea quicker and risk that your coffee gets cooled every time you annoy me or I’m bored?” Tony weights his head from side to side but nods. “Hmm, yeah, basically.” Then he takes a sip from his mug. “Are you serious?”

“Y/N, look. I just say it is a possibility.”

“No, Tony. Thank you, but I think I’m fine like this.”

“Okay. Offer still stands.” He smiles at her, sips on his coffee again and strolls out of the room.

 

* * *

 

They have settled down on the pier of the lake. Nat had helped Y/N to set up a table and some chairs while the boys carry the food. Y/N even managed to get Pepper away from her work to join them. Peter sadly is occupied with school stuff and Rhodey is out of the city. Only Wanda and Vision had declined the offer. They had already plans for the day.

Now they all are stuffed with food and talking. The plates are empty and the pie is gone. Y/N sits on her chair, a thin blanket draped around her and stares out over the lake. She’s back in her thoughts. _What am I gonna do after living here for so long? I should start searching for an apartment. And I need a new job. Who will even look after Buck and Steve if this dropping happens again? No actually they all will manage._ “Y/N?”

“Hm?” Her head jerks up and into Steve’s direction. He looks at her with clear concern on his face. He reaches over the table and places his hand on hers. “Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?”

“What? No. I’m fine.”

“You sure? You’re really quiet.” Bucky looks at her with the same look that Steve has. She watches him a second and considers saying anything but as the others look at her too, she just shakes her head. “Nah. I’m good, really. Just… I think I’ll go for a quick walk.” Both men frown at her and just as Steve is about to stand up, she holds out a hand to stop him and shakes her head. “Please. Let me go for a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”

“Oh… eh. Okay.” She watches as the blonde sits back down. She sees he’s concerned and confused, so she kisses the top of his head and squeezes his shoulder to reassure him that it’s okay. Then she quickly hurries away from the group. She walks along the shore and lets the water run over her feet. How am I going to live without them?

She’s just out of their ear reach as someone speaks up behind her. “What are you really thinking?”

“Huh?” She turns around and looks straight at Tony’s face. “What do you mean?”

“I know, for a fact, that you’re not as fine as you want us to believe. I know this look. I saw it hundreds of times, Y/N. What is worrying you?” Y/N is shocked for a moment. She looks at Tony, then behind him at the group of people. Bucky is looking straight at her but the others are talking. Then she looks over the lake. “Swear you won’t tell them?”

“I’m not good at promises.”

“Tony!” Her voice is strong and fierce. She shows no sign of playing and Tony seems to catch it instantly. “Okay. I swear.” Y/N nods at him and motions for him to follow her while she strides further along the shore. “I keep thinking about finding a new apartment.”

“What? Why?”

“Tony. I don’t have my powers anymore and HYDRA left me alone since I’m back. There’s no reason for me to stay. And there’s even less for you all to protect me. Yes, I know. Almost whole New York probably knows my face, but I was out on some occasions and I just got stared at when I was with one of you. Otherwise, no one seems to be interested in me.”

“What are you saying? Do you- Do you think we just kept you here to protect you?”

“That was the intention, from all of you, to move me here Tony. So, I won’t get into their hands. But now? There’s nothing to-”

“Are you insane?!” Tony shouts it and Y/N quickly throws a worried look over her shoulder at the others. Of course, they all stare at them. “Shh, Tony.” She places a finger on her lips and stops walking. “No. No shh, Y/N. I can’t believe that.”

“What brought this on?”

“Come on, Tony. The whole reason for me to move here was to protect me. But now? There is no danger left for me and I don’t want to be a burden any longer.”

“You’re not a burden.” Y/N sighs and looks Tony in the eyes. “You all keep saying it.”

“That you’re a burden?”

“No. That I have to live alone, move back into the city.”

“I don’t think so. Come on.” He grabs her arm a bit roughly. For a second, she’s shocked at the action, but then she feels him drag her back to the others. “No, Tony, what are you doing?”

“Convincing you that you’re wrong.”

“You promised to not tell them.”

“And I said that I’m not good with promises.” She protests and tries to get free but Tony is having none of it. He just drags her behind himself and walks up the others. “Tony? What are you doing?” Steve looks at him and Y/N can see the anger behind his eyes. She knows that he sees that she doesn’t like what Tony is doing. Or is about to do. “Did anyone of you tell her that she’s only here for us to protect her?” The whole table looks around confused until they all shake their heads. “And did anyone say she should move out? Back into town? Into her own apartment?” Again, everyone shakes his head. “Tony, what is this about?” Bruce raises his eyebrows and looks at Y/N. Tony ignores his question and, instead, asks another one. “So, then please tell me, did anyone of you know that she is about to leave?”

“Tony-”

“No. I want to know that.” Y/N pouts and rips her arm out of his grip to cross them over her chest. “You’re leaving?” Bucky looks straight at her. His face looks panicked and he is pale. Sadness is what she sees in his expression. Steve is quick to stand up and sit on Y/N’s previous seat. He takes Bucky’s flesh hand and rubs soothing circles on it before he looks at her with and equal confused expression. “Y/N?” For a few moments she avoids to look in their direction but after Tony gives her a light shove, she meets his eyes. She takes a deep breath to say something but no words leave her mouth. So, she just nods. “Why?” Steve’s voice weavers lightly, but he doesn’t seem to notice it. Instead, he grabs Bucky’s hand tighter and lets him lean onto his shoulder. “What brought this on?” Nat raises and eyebrow and leans over the table to look closer at her. “I-I…” She swallows and looks from Nat to Bruce to Clint to Sam and then to Pepper until her eyes hang on Bucky again. “I’ll answer that. She thinks, now that she doesn’t have any powers, that she has to leave because we don’t need to protect her anymore. She says she’s only a burden.”

“A burden?” Bucky chokes out. “B-but… Y/N.” Steve shakes his head with a frown. “We don’t let you move in to only protect you.” Clint says after it’s clear that Steve isn’t going to talk again. “Damn right. Man, you’re our friend. We like you.” Sam nods and leans a bit forward. It's silent for a moment where no one says anything and just thinks about what was said. “Do you really want to leave?” Bucky’s voice is silent and really close to the one of an afraid child. Y/N’s eyes snap from her shoes back up at Bucky. “I- No.” She shakes her head. “No. I don’t want to. I just thought-”

“You thought we don’t want you here anymore.” Bruce says and Y/N nods at him. “Why?” Clint leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know. It just popped into my head that there is no reason for me to stay, now that all the drama this was about is over. I’m a burden and I thought you all want me to go.”

“You seriously thought we would throw you out of our lives just like that?” Nat says it with a sharp voice and Y/N winces at her. But she nods. Nat lets out the air with and audibly sound and copies Clint’s motion. Y/N looks back down at her feet as a hand on her shoulder lets her look back up. She has not noticed that Tony retreated back to the seat next to Pepper and that Steve now stands beside her. “Y/N. You’re my best friend. I really would like it if you stay. If that is what you want. I didn’t propose that you live with us for the only reason of protecting you. Yes, it was one of them. But we were already friends. And now I got really used to you living with me and buck. Besides.” He chuckles and a light blush creeps on his face. “I don’t like any of them to change my diapers.” Y/N snorts at the same time as Bucky speaks up. “And I don’t trust Nat to braid my hair.” He’s still silent and Y/N catches a shiver run over him.

“Hey.” Nat slaps Bucky hard on his back making him choke and cough. “So, you keep me?” She looks back up at Steve, and he smiles at her before he draws her into his arms. “You’re not a pet.”

“But we keep you.”

“Tony.” Y/N smiles at Pepper’s scolding and closes her eyes. She slings her arms around Steve’s middle and smiles against his shoulder. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Good. I would die without this pie.” Y/N looks over at Clint with a smirk. “Let’s try that.” Clint’s smile leaves his face as soon as Y/N says it. “No, Y/N, please.” Everybody starts laughing and Y/N sighs. She sits back down beside Bucky and pretends not to notice that Bucky scoots closer to her.

It’s good to have such good friends. Such a good family. And even as Bucky drops again that night, she loves it. And she will stay. Forever.


End file.
